Missing In Action

It is 11:42 on Wednesday night. I am holding C.J. as she is awake from one her cat naps. Since I had to work and then attend a huge church function, Daddy was MIA today. I hate these days because when I get home C.J. is asleep and Mommy is resting too, so I dont have anyone to talk to.

One thing that was not missing was a poop filled diaper when I came in. So even though she was asleep, she left that for me to culminate her day. I drove as fast as I could to get home before the new day began. One to make sure I got my blog done. The other reason is to make sure we had prayer as a family. With my career and aspirations, the reality is that I may be away from C.J on some nights. Nevertheless wherever I am, we will pray as a family to begin and end each day. So now off I go to tend to the poop. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things...by the way C.J., Daddy had a good time at church tonight. I can not wait until you can hear your Daddy proclaim the Word of God!!!

Mixed Emotions

As the reality for Mommy sets in that next week she is back at work, and I too am dealing with a little problem. When I look back to how it felt to walk in the house everyday and greet my two ladies I can honestly say that I liked the whole situation a lot. It is a situation that I was getting used to and comfortable with. Knowing full well that it all has to come to an end and that the realization would not be pretty. Unfortunately at this present time I do not make enough money to allow for Mommy and C.J. to stay home together for as long as we desire. Therefore Mommy has to build up the courage and strength to go back to work. No matter how I look at it C.J. will be impacted.

Now some of you are already thinking negatively about the situation because I said she would be impacted but I have considered a few ways that she will be impacted that will help her grow into a well rounded little girl. First, she will get to be around other children. Being with the babysitter hired she will interact with two older children that at today's meeting seemed to be happy and very well learned. My hope is that C.J. begins to develop up to where they are. Not skipping meaningful milestones in her life but learning how to interact with all different age groups early in life will help her socially when she gets older.

Secondly, she will develop a respect and appreciation for different cultures. C.J. and I have listened to music from all over. Now she might hear other genres of music because her babysitter is from someplace else. She may hear different words and she may see customs not related to her culture. With this exposure she will be inquisitive to learn about different people and places around the world. Hopefully her Daddy will be able to take her to see not only sites of America but we will fly over the Atlantic too.

And thirdly, C.J. will learn how to cope with being away form her Mommy and especially me, her Daddy, for long periods of time. This will help her when the time comes for her to go away to college and it will prepare Daddy for that day when he must accept the fact that someone else loves his baby and is reluctantly given his approval to take her hand in wedded bliss.

Babysitters are cool, hey I had one and I turned out fine, and I have full confidence that C.J. will too. After all, she is a Johnson by birth. Even though I do wish I made the 7 digit numbers that could unscramble these mixed feelings, I don't. For now we both have to go into work to continue living as we want to live. Don't get me wrong we are blessed and highly favored and that is what gives me the peace to not worry. And simply because I am one of His I know he is in control. I am happy that we have a situation where Mommy is near and Daddy is always, no mater where I am, a call away. Plus I saw the picture of the last supper and the bibles in the house so I know C.J. is being cared for by a woman who knows Jesus Christ.

Welp, I must go now, there is rest to be had, but before I go, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Music To My Ears

I was once told that that the way a baby communicates is by crying. That was only half the truth. There are many sounds that a baby makes and I think C.J. is at the top of the chart having mastered them all. From the moment she wakes up until we put her down at night you will hear many things uttered from my little C.J.

Lets look at when she wakes up in the morning. You don't hear crying you hear stretching and yawning and the covers rustling. This is all before she opens her eyes. She has a 5 minute ritual which gives us time to prepare a bottle for her by the time she opens her eyes. Now I find this fascinating because she will stretch her arms out and show her wingspan like she was an eagle, and I might add, that it is huge.

Now I was told that there would be a cry for when she was wet, not C.J. When she is wet you hear her pamper rubbing together because she won't stop moving her little legs. I think that is how the poop spreads all over the place.

Now when she is hungry the sound of smacking is heard from a room away. When you hear the smacking you know that she is beyond hungry and you have already missed the previous signs to tell that she is hungry. Once you give her the bottle you hear the milk as it travels down her digestive tract very loudly.

Now Daddy's favorite sound is that of the burp. Now this is partly because I am disgusting and feel the need to challenge her when she burps after a feeding. C.J. seems like she finds the burp deep down in her soul and aids it by getting really silent, then letting out a burp that resonates for miles.

Now tonight there were some fun sounds. Some laughs that showed happiness. She let out a loud shriek and smiled. She seemed as if she wanted to talk to me, so I held her up to me and showed her I was listening.

There is one sound that I could do without. Or I have to train her on the potty quickly. It is the grunt. This sound means that in just minutes a smell will be produced and you might want to get your goggles, gloves and face mask. All of which I have because my Grandmother made me this apron to use for just such an occasion. When you hear that sound you better be prepared and not dressed in anything you like.

Now the most popular sound amongst parents is that of the cry. C.J. does cry, when she cries we know she is A. being a spoiled brat, (thanks to Dad) or something is wrong. As I told you she makes other sounds for everything else. Her cry is loud. I wish I had earmuffs to shield me from it. I have to tell you though nothing sounds better than the sigh of satisfaction when I have her in my arms after she has exercised her lungs. That sigh relays to me that she is content, satisfied and safe. It is that sigh that makes me feel happy and proud to be a Daddy, especially C.J.'s Daddy.

Well for now that is all. Time for me to go listen to sounds, maybe she will snore a little so we know she is asleep. Until later good people, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Just Another Day

So who said every day would be exciting and fun-filled? Well of course C.J. does something cute everyday. Whether it be a smile, a movement, fake sleeping or acting as if she is relaxing in a hammock during bath time. I will say that she does something new daily. Now I will admit I want exciting. I want news worthy excitement on an everyday basis. If you know me I am full of action, energy and I am restless. If I could I would bounce from wall to wall in a house just because I could. Then you could imagine that I was the one at birth who wanted to take C.J. out to shoot hoops. That is half the reason I bought her a basketball within 24 hours of her coming into the world. It is the reason we listen to loud music. It is the reason why I always have her on the activity mats or in her rockers or in her play yard with the musical sound going. I wanted her to be running and walking instantly and no one could tell me otherwise.

What I am learning is that life is a process and it takes time to get up and running (no pun intended). C.J. needs time for all her limbs to connect and her bones to get strong. She needs time to develop all the reflexes needed to respond properly to the world around her. She needs time to develop her lungs so she can speak with clarity and communicate with smiles, since the frowns she already has down-packed. You really have to see her poke her little lip out, it is too cute! I have learned that I must be patient and let her come into her own. Now that doesn't mean that I do not still give her my finger to grab to work on her grip. She is pretty good with that too.

In all today was simply another day, but life long lessons always occur. We prayed as a family, C.J. was read to. She watched the Miami vs. San Diego game and then she took it down with Mommy. I think today will be the beginning of something new. We need to end the day as we started it and that is in prayer. So I must leave you now to start another component of the Johnson's of Old Bridge daily routine. As always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Just Wait Till My Daddy Comes Home

Instead of spending a nice quiet day at home with C.J. today, I had to get up like normal and go to work. It comes with the territory, but since C.J. is around, Saturdays are the only day I get to spend with her from sunup to sundown. While at work I called home twice just to see what was going on and was told that she was asleep and the constant inquiries about her all day do not help with my anxiety. So I continually whip out her picture whenever anyone asks, partly to show off, but more importantly, for me to get to see at least an image of my little twin.

So after stopping to do some solo food shopping and picking up some water for C.J. I arrived home. I had to bring in all the groceries, all my dry cleaning and all the other bags I accumulated from the morning until then. Now when I got everything put away C.J. was fussing a bit. She had just awakened because I guess she heard her Daddy! I got comfortable and then I grabbed her up. She almost instantly got quiet as she laid in my arms. I know she was happy to see me along with the sound of football coming from the television. C.J. may be a girl but she will sit quiet when football is being played and the smile upon her face tells me she enjoys it.

So as we sit as a family, and C.J. and I watch our favorite team, Notre Dame, play I really am glad that C.J. slept all day, so she could get up when her Daddy got home. Pretty soon when she hears the door crack she will run to me and utter the word that will make me go crazy "Daddy!". All will be in order in her mind when her Daddy gets home! Well that is all for today...the game is about to come back on. So, as always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Bath Time!!!

So it is Friday night at 8:51pm and C.J. and I are home alone relaxing. She is eating and I am holding the bottle for her. In the background, you guessed it, Football! Nevada vs. Missouri, we think Mizzou will win.

Anyway, Mommy took some much needed me time tonight and she better come home bearing gifts for all. Anyway that left Daddy to have his first attempt at bath time. Since Mommy created a system for this I usually write during that given time, however, I had to come off the bench and step up tonight. I will say I did rather well. No soap in her eyes. I did not drop her and she did not cry too much. I was paranoid at whether the water was too hot or too cold but when I put her in she was relaxed.

I washed her face, changed washcloths, then her body. Last was the hair with the washcloth I used for her face. No booty-face washcloth for her. I'm on top of things just so you all know.

In trying to keep with Shatema's system I read to C.J. tonight as well. I chose a different type of text and read to her Martin Luther King Jr's sermon/speech "Where Do We Go From Here?" As I read this almost 40 year old text, it was sad to come to the conclusion that my daughter was born into a similar world mentioned. I know the words are complicated and the tone is a bit grim but I hope that all of this is seeping into her inner most being and beginning to shape and mold her into the powerful black woman she will be. I have added an excerpt for you to ponder. "The Negro will only be free when he reaches down to the inner depths of his own being and signs with the pen and ink of assertive manhood his own Emancipation Proclamation. And, with a spirit straining toward true self-esteem, the Negro must boldly throw off the manacles of self-abnegation and say to himself and to the world, "I am somebody. I am a person. I am a man with dignity and honor. I have a rich and noble history. How painful and exploited that history has been. Yes, I was a slave through my foreparents and I am not ashamed of that. I'm ashamed of the people who were so sinful to make me a slave." Yes, we must stand up and say, "I'm black and I'm beautiful," and this self-affirmation is the black man's need, made compelling by the white man's crimes against him."

C.J., Daddy wants you to stand up for what is right. He wants you to not be ashamed of who you are and where you come from. He wants you to be bold. He wants you to be a leader and not compromise your beliefs. He wants you to be YOU!" I say this because as I realized earlier we are still in search of where to go and I want C.J. to be a part of the calvary headed upward and onward.

So it is, another night comes to an end. The bond between father and daughter grows stronger and all is good in the Johnson household. As always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Must be the Music

C.J. and I have had an evening alone. Earlier today I came home and sat her on my lap and decided to listen to some music. Many people don't know it but I love all kinds of music. Music helps calm me, yes even when it's loud rock music. Music does something to me and I can escape whatever negative energy I've had to deal with throughout the day.

Now for C.J. it's all about exposure. I want her to hear many genres of music so she can relate and learn about people. Her Daddy believes that you can tell a lot about people by the music they listen to and how they respond to different kinds of music. So yes people, C.J., like her dad, will be analytical. Today we listened to Blink 182 and C.J. liked it. I swear I saw her nod her head in rhythm and no one will be able to persuade me otherwise. All the Small Things was the song of choice. We also listened to some Black Eyed Peas.

Now C.J. and I are doing what we do best watching football, South Carolina vs. Ole Miss. Well I am watching and C.J. is sound asleep but she is listening. She will know her football positions and calls.

I spoke with a friend, and we related to how we both miss the heck out of our baby girl when we are not with them. I, for one, can not stand it. I want to take her everywhere with me. To the mall, to a game, to the store, to work even, as long as she leaves the stinky diapers at home.

Well another night ends and I must go. Soon enough C.J. and I will be dancing again. Until then, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

News Flash- Have to share Will be back tonight

Some things are so exciting you have to do a quick blurb. I know I should be out the door already but I will get to my destination on time. I am hoping that this is the beginning of C.J. beginning to play her role on our team. She slept the entire night!!!!That is right from 11ish when we put her down and she is still sleep. Go C.J.!!! Now if she plays right she will be up most of the day and sleep through the night again tonight.

Just Live Your Life

I want to thank a very cool young lady for inspiring me today. We are victims of someone having expectations of us. What to wear, how to talk, where to go to school, who to date, what car you should buy, where you should live, and how you should act. At one time or another in all of our lives we have lived trying to reach someone else's goals for our lives. Truth be told this should never be the case.

Now some of you who see me more regularly know I joke around about my children all being meteorologists. My reasoning is that they get paid a nice chunk of change and can actual be inaccurate 75% of the time in their profession. So with C.J. being my first born it is now time for her career to begin taking shape, but that is what I want for her. Yes it's a joke and I want her to be whatever she wants to be as long as she is dedicated to it.

Because I didn't see C. J. since this morning when I left for work, I learned that laying a foundation is very important in a family. When a foundation is laid a child will always have those nuggets of life to look back upon and grow. This was you can go to sleep at night assured that whatever it is your child puts their mind to, they are carrying out the tasks with pride and purpose. This young lady today helped me (a perfectionist) understand that I will have to let C.J. develop into who she wants to be and not what I may think is ideal. The bible tells us to train up a child in the way it should go and when she (in this case) is old she will not depart from it.

As a parent I must understand that there will be things C.J. does that will irk and upset me but nevertheless I have to love her unconditionally. I have to believe in my heart that at all times I have allowed her to see true love, trust and whatever other values and morals I want her to possess. This way she will be a happy child who feels loved all the time. I missed my baby today but at all times, morning, noon and night C.J. occupies my mind and I am thinking of how I will parent to make sure she understands life and can apply what she learns from her Daddy!

That is all for today. I hope this touches others like it touched me. Let your kids live THEIR lives. Just be supportive and always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

YUCK!!!

Alright folks she baptized me and I'm the minister. She gave back some of her milk down my back. It was yucky and ran all the way down my back. Good thing I didn't have a suit on. I know that sounds very mean to say but dry cleaning is expensive and we want to make sure C.J. eats. Come on people, it's a joke, laugh with me.

So we have had other yucky situations too. Diapers changes have been become more and more smelly as of late and C.J. needs to learn how to spray the glade quickly. I mean it oozes and runs and the smell would make you think that she feasted on rotten milk but she does not and Daddy makes sure of that.

Today C.J. and I listened to music. She was quiet through George Clinton and Earth Wind and Fire. We danced to Daddy's favorite song, September, too. So this is all post bath time too. Usually she is asleep by now but she is up and about now. Why she is up, we don't know, but we are trying everything to put her down. I am sure a warm embrace from Dad will do the trick.

I've noticed that she seems to be a lot more active now which makes me excited because that means playtime with Daddy will commence, and who knows what will go on there. It's what I have been waiting for since she was born...the basketball is ready to go.

Welp tonight has to be short because I have to get ready for a long day tomorrow. C.J.'s got me today but tomorrow and the next day I will be ready for her, lol. As always remember to pray becasue prayer changes things.

Define Normal

In my lifetime I've had many conversations with parents. Whether it was as a teacher during back to school night, a counselor discussing admissions or as a concerned citizen speaking with parents in the community. I have talked with them all about God only knows what and none of them ever told me that I would never utter the word "normal" again. C.J. has come into my life and changed the way I do life, even waking up in the morning. Like today, I pressed the snooze button three times. C.J. wanted to be fed at 4:00am right when I was (again) entering that level of sleep where it gets real good. So I figured if I lose this time, by pressing the snooze button, I would make it up. The result, late to work again.

Now tonight, I come home ready to create a nice Asian dish for dinner, (OK, it was chicken stir fry over lo mein noodles),however, I had to make some minor adjustments since I wanted to hold C.J. and cook at the same time. So she watched me cook today. Hopefully she picked up some pointers. Operating with one hand made me realize once again that changes have had to be made, and I'd better begin looking at things differently right now.

Even when riding to the doctor's office, I have lost my co-pilot. Shatema now sits in the back seat with my little lady. Try having a conversation by way of the rear view mirror. Also I can't even play my music up all loud anymore, lol. So when my jam comes across the airwaves I have to just sway from side to side versus getting buck-wild like I used to.

Now one might say man does he sound bitter. Trust me I am not. So what, things will never be normal again. To tell the truth I am abnormal. Nothing I do is normal...I don't eat, dress, sleep, perform tasks, or even think, normally. So C.J. coming along just helps her old man think of new and exciting ways to be creative. Who needs normalcy anyway? We should all live our lives doing new and exciting things. Every day we should be innovative and inventive! So thank you C.J. for helping Daddy remain walking on the edge of the box, and I look forward to the day when we can be abnormal together. That is all for today, remember to pray because prayer changes things!

Scheduling Conflict

In my short month as a parent I would not have anyone believe that everything has all been good. As with any new experience you have your ups and downs. You wonder a lot and you have those moments where you simply say, "What the heck did I get myself into?" I would have to say that the biggest issue in the house has been that of scheduling. Mommy has her schedule, Daddy had his and C.J. operates on her own schedule. The problem is that none of the schedules are in sync.

I will go on record to say that I do not buy any of this C.J. will begin to follow our schedule soon. I believe that she should sleep when she wants to and be awake when she wants to. Now I do feel that she should sleep when her parents sleep and be active during the day when we are out and about. I know many people, especially the mothers, will chalk this comment up to me being a rookie on the fatherhood team and you may be correct. However I believe that everything will come together sooner or later. I don't want to rush anything. I just want things to fall into place.

This week this scheduling came into play. Realistically I saw C.J. in the mornings, then again at night, and at both times she was asleep. I am already dreading this weekend when I know I have to work (though not really doing much, I still have to go in.). I'm saying to myself that I really would much rather be at home with C.J. than down at that school. I love my job but C.J. and I need to keep our bond strong. It was evident that she missed me because she slept on me for a long time last night without a peep. On the other hand she showed her disgust in me not being around by crying anytime I held her today. So automatically the wheels started turning in my head as to what I need to stop doing RIGHT NOW to ensure that this does not happen again.

The daily happenings of C.J. continue to amaze me. Every move, sound, gesture and that smile helps me to understand that she is the Princess in my home and that she is already setting her agenda. One day I guess C.J., Shatema and myself will need to sit down and discuss all of our agendas to make sure that we are all on the same page moving in the same direction.

That is all for today, I'm surprised I stayed this focused with the Giants and Cowgirls playing today. Always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

What Is With The Closed Fist

OK, I have taken pictures of my twin (C.J.) everyday since she has been upon the earth and one thing is the same all the time. C.J. loves to clinch her fist in photos. Now I didn't know that my crush on Laila Ali would amount to this. I want her to be able to defend herself but she looks like she is gearing up to be a fighter. Some may say not to worry about the fist. Maybe she is going to do an in depth study on Angela Davis. No matter what reason one will choose to go with,the girl has the fist clinched and ready to go whenever she needs to.

Today was another one of those long unusual days. I had a meeting early this morning and then was invited to a football game this evening. Needless to say I didn't get to chill with C.J. and watch football today, and me knowing my loving wife, (SMILE Shatema because I know you will read this) can bet all I have to say that she didn't have C.J. no where close to the television to get her sports in for the week.

As we tailgated in the parking lot I saw a man with a Baby Bjorn carrier bringing his very young child to the game today. (Now people the child looked to be C.J.'s age if not younger). I am all for bringing your kids out to enjoy a nice game but this guy was nuts. My wife, mother, grandmother, aunts, mother in-law and sister in-law, not to mention my own dad, would have called the police on themselves after they took part in my burning at the stake if I pulled a stunt like that. I visualized myself and C.J.adorned in our favorite players jersey, grilling some burgers, her with some candy and pompoms and dad with some peanuts getting overly excited as we make our way to our seats after some annual tailgating. It is funny I just remembered one of my college roommates asked if she would be coming to homecoming this year. I said, "Not this year but she will be out and about next year."

It will be great to do things like that with her and I look forward to it. Of course we will take pictures and probably she will pose with her trademark of a closed fist and a smile. I will admit, I do hate not being around her 24 hours a day but I will work on that. We all know it won't be a raise on the job, Jimbo Corzine has saw to that. That only leaves me to hit the lotto...if I only played. Maybe it is time for me to exercise my one dollar and a dream! That is all for tonight folks, time to go get some rest and prepare for Worship tomorrow. As always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

One Day At A Time

Well I have to admit something to you all, the sound of a baby waking up at 3:30am is a sound that has become all too familiar. She will whimper, squirm and then let out a cry that says, "You all know the drill, get up!" So it was my turn to get her back to sleep and last night I figured out that the rocking motion helps a lot. So needless to say, I did not have to stay up too long.

Now one thing I try not to do, but in my line of business you can not do all that well, is bring work home, mentally or physically. Today was different. I needed to vent and home was the only safe place. So I had to tell C.J. about my day. I must say she is helping me to curb my tongue. I might have slipped twice. OK, it was three times but if you know me you know that means I have gotten better. I think it is healthy for her to know that Daddy is not happy all the time. I think this is important because she will one day have to deal with a lot of emotions. I would hope that throughout her life she will see how to deal with all emotions effectively. I think I did well though, I vented, received feedback and developed an action plan. A process I will pass down to lil C.J. one day.

C.J. was her usual self when I got home. I quickly washed my hands so I could hold her for a while and listen to what she had to say. I also decided to stop in on reading time today. Mommy is reading Hill Harper's "Letter to a Young Sister" to her now. Today it was about a young lady finding purpose and maximizing potential in college. How ironic that college for kids was the lunch discussion today. I made the statement, and will stand by it, that as long as C.J. loves what she does she can be anything she wants to be. That means a meteorologist, ballet dancer or plumber. I will make it my business not to live her life for her. My life is tough enough so I will let her do her.

The night was easy...she is bathed, fed and now sleeping. I decided to wait until late tonight because I wanted to process how my venting could affect her. I think she will be just fine. So as always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Home Sweet Home

Usually when I leave in the morning C.J. is sound asleep. This morning I was running a little late and before I could leave C.J. was wide awake. I heard her squirming around in her crib and when I look down to pick her up her bright eyes were fixed upon my face. At this point I'm leaning over to Shatema saying, "I think I am going to call out." Just seeing her face full of smiles and her eyes following my every move was enough to melt me instantly. Even though my heart said to stay, my head said take your butt to work. So I prayed with my two ladies, kissed them on the forehead like I do every morning and made my way to the door.

Upon returning home today I performed as usual by taking off my suit jacket and washing my hands. Even though C.J. was asleep I picked her up. I did this today because the feeling I left home with never left as the day grew older. Today I believe that absence does make the heart grow fonder. At this rate my heart will grow very large because the days are so long and they keep me away from my C.J., who if the jury remains the same will have another nickname of "Twin" because she looks like her daddy. So feeling so compelled I added another picture to the catalog to freeze this moment in time.

As another night is upon us C.J. and I are doing just fine. A bond is being formed that no one will ever be able to infiltrate. A relationship for the ages is developing here in Old Bridge. One that prayerfully will be an example to others. Oh yeah I almost forgot. You all know that C.J. is being home schooled at this very moment. Shatema shared that everyday between two and three o'clock they watch "Sid The Science Kid", link provided (http://pbskids.org/sid/) this show will strengthen her Science skills which we all know in this world she will need. The show also reinforces all the science related stuff I have bought for her already! Well for tonight that is all folks. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things!

Only Left To Wonder

Even though I try hard not to, it seems that I am always busy. I have really paid close attention to what I get involved with and going back for years now I have slowed down a bunch. Well until tonight when I got home and realized the sun had risen and set and I was away from my Princess.

Now I quickly looked at my day and would not take anything away from it. I met with a young lady who is on the ball ready to go to college and I caught the last few moments of bible study which is always a plus. These things continue to make me who I am today and the man she will come to know more as she grows. So I started to think what are some things that C.J. and I can do together?

The first thing that came to mind was tossing the old pigskin. For all of you who think it is sad that I would want to do this, for one I want to break gender norms, and from my educational background, it will help with hand and eye coordination. (How do you like that for size) I just want to be around C.J. all the time and I have to start thinking of things now that will allow that to happen. I don't want to smother her but every moment seems precious and special, and not to mention, every moment is one I don't want to miss.

I will always have church meetings and clients to work with and events to go to and everyday nine to five stuff to complete. One thing I know now is that I want my day to start with C.J. and end with C.J., that way I will feel complete and she will be whole. As I type I hear her whimpering a little now a great excuse for me just to go glimpse at her beautifully resting face once more. As I tell everyone I come in contact with who asks, "I really love being a father" and one bit of advice at this early stage I will share with any man who will walk this way is that you should spend as much time with your child as possible. It will make you both better because of the QUALITY time spent. That is all for today. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

A Bad Day

Today was a bad day. I'm right around the corner from work and I get a ticket. The cop was at least kind enough not to make it a moving violation, but it went all down hill from there. My intention was to go to Dunkin Donuts to get a muffin to go with my usual morning Green Tea. Needless to say I was so upset after the ticket I didn't make it to get the muffin nor did I have my Green Tea. Now if you know me you know I am the life of the party. I don't think I said one word to anybody the entire morning. I stayed in my cube and completed the work I needed to complete for the day. Now the result of me not eating breakfast was that my stomach hurt and I developed a horrible headache.

So needless to say the ride home was not the best. My head still pounded. I guess lunch wasn't good enough and I was tired. So I really just wanted to come home and go to sleep. However about a mile out I remembered I have a little baby girl home awaiting me so she can get her dose of Daddy time. So I mustered up enough energy to make it up the stairs and there she was relaxing in her mother's arms. So I put my bag down and washed my hands, (you all know the drill by now) grabbed her up and gave her her evening kiss to match the one I give her every morning. I talked with her to see how her day went and held her close until bath time.

I have to mention she made a call to her big cousin Breezie today. She was trying to say something but of course no words came out. Breezie spoke to her though, lol. I am thinking about the trouble those two will get into soon enough.

What I learned today is how much your family can change the outlook of a day. Mine started out horrible but as soon as I came home to embrace my two ladies, especially this little one, I felt loved and felt a sense of calm come completely over me.

That is all for today. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Tears

OK, so I walk in from a long drive home. (Work was decent today, didn't even get upset with anyone or about anything.) Come upstairs to find my baby C.J. relaxing with Mom. They both looked so peaceful. Now I know they fought all day, but at that moment, things were "All Quiet on the Old Bridge Front". I hurried to put my bags down and wash my hands which seems to be a new process I follow daily. I go over to kiss Mommy and then as I go to pick up C.J., it just so happens she smirks and gets excited when she sees her Daddy. To some this might not mean anything but to me it means the world. That means her little eyes know what her Daddy looks like and her little ears recognize her Daddy's voice. I don't care what Science or even Piaget and his stages of development says, C.J. goes against the grain. I was so happy to see her get excited that I didn't even notice the horrid smell coming from her pamper. I have to tell you the truth, I said, "Mommy you can have her back, lol!" I mean don't get me wrong, you all know I love my kid but I smelled what I would see and opted to let Mommy love her more for that moment in time. No wonder she was so quiet, I would be quiet too if I smelled like that.

So the highlight of the day is that when she cried today she actually had a tear. Me being me asked Mommy where did it come from? She answered with her usual bluntness, a tear duct. Now up until now when she cried it was just noise but now she has actual tears. What am I going to do now? I know I am not going to be able to deal with seeing a tear roll down that cute little cheek. I have to work on that because I am already weak.

I am really enjoying this daddy thing more and more. I find myself thinking about this little girl all day long and can't wait until I get home each day. You all just watch when she gets stronger and is crawling and sitting up and all that good stuff. C.J. and I are going to have so much fun. Watch out world! Until tomorrow, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Catch Up

So early in the process and I missed a day. I guess I have to blame the USC/Ohio State game for that. I will have you know that C.J. was watching it with me though. We watched that and the Notre Dame/Michigan game together yesterday while mommy went to a baby shower. For all of you who think I am nuts for having my baby girl watch sports I will have you know that she was attentive for both until she fell asleep. Seems like we have us a bonding ritual forming already. I will say that I believe that it is important for me to get close with her. She had nine months with mommy so daddy has some time to make up, lol. I have to tell you it is so relaxing to see her little eyes stare up from time to time. Mommy could have stayed away all day if she wanted too and C.J. and I would have been fine with that.

During the day I explained to C.J. that I needed a lot of sleep because I had to preach today and my girl obliged her daddy and slept through the night, well most of it, I planned to get up at 5:30am and she got up at 4:00am but that was OK with me. She is working well with daddy and his ministry already, providing me with the time I need to prepare and the rest I need to function at 100% when I step behind that sacred desk.

On today we had to leave her because mommy wanted to come support daddy at church. It was our first time leaving her so we had to prepare everything to make sure all her needs where met when we were gone. Now she only stayed with her Auntie Brandie but still leaving her with anyone other than mommy means their are some directions and directives that must be followed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though. I told her to behave and mommy only spent maybe 6 minutes upstairs explaining things to Auntie before she came down to head to church.

As usual we end the day together as a family, ( I must add that we begin each day with prayer together too)C.J. running the show and daddy devising ways to get his #1 spot back. She is continuing to develop her little personality and I must admit she is shaping up to be a force to be reckoned with. She took a pic this weekend and she was all dolled up but made sure to clinch her fist when the picture was taken. I've told everyone that this means she will be a dainty girl but will let you have it if need be. My dad says she will be a tomboy but I don't think that. i think she will be very active and do it her way.

As usual remember to pray, becasue prayer changes things.

Tomorrow Mommy Is Gone

I must say I am looking forward to spending the afternoon with C.J. all by myself. The question is what do we do? Now we could sit and watch football all day, which wouldn't be bad at all or we could paint the town red and spend a little. The weather is changing and C.J. needs some sweatsuits and sneakers. Now you all know that Mommy would not be pleased with either but guess what, she won't be here anyway. So we will see what tomorrow brings Lords willing.

Guess what? C.J. #1 and C.J. #2 met for the first time today. These two will have a lifetime of growing, learning and playing together. Tonight they wanted to see who could make the loudest sounds, they both stated their case but #1 showed that he was champ.

Not much tonight its been pretty mild and calm. Until tomorrow remember to pray , prayer changes things!

"C.J." the Champ

When you work all day and just want to come home and rest up a bit the last thing you want to do is go sit in a doctor's office. Unless you are me because it sure beats having to take a day off just to visit the pediatrician as frequently as a newborn does. I am so happy that we found a great doctor for C.J. who understands that people work and sets his appointments after normal business hours.

So this evening we walk into the office to the sound of a crying baby. You got it, it's shot time. Now C.J. is no stranger to needles. Even though she is only a month old, she has already had to get blood drawn a few weeks ago and did quite well. Now Mommy and Daddy did make sure she was knocked out before the blood work so she really did not know what was going on. So we get to tonight, it is C.J.'s turn to deal with the dreaded needle. I whisper to her that she can handle it and to be a champ then laid her on the table. In a matter of seconds the vaccine is injected, band aid applied and she is back comfortably in her daddy's arms with just a little whimpering. That's right, my girl took that needle like a champ. No medicine before hand, no putting her to sleep, no fuss at all. I am hoping that all needle visits will go this well.

Today's update, C.J. visited IHOP today. Well she was there physically but so wrapped up I don't even remember seeing her there. LOL, we had to eat and we have not been all summer. Another update, she is presently sitting here right now with Daddy as I type and watch football! Aw, got to love it, C.J. and Daddy time! I must leave now though, because we have a little reading to get done before she goes to bed. Reading is fundamental! So until tomorrow, remember to pray because prayer changes things!

Sleeping Easy

The one thing that everyone told me while the pregnancy went on was that all the baby will do is sleep and eat. I have to say that C.J. has been no exception. C.J. has mastered the two already. The problem is that she does them when she feels like it. Take for instance a few weeks ago, all I wanted to do was return back to work, business as usual. However C.J. (I guess) wanted to have Daddy hang around a little longer so she made it up in her BIG mind that she would wake up at half-hour intervals. Needless to say, I didn't get to work exactly on time.

Now that would be understandable if this were her daily routine but it is not. Last night we put C.J. down at about 8:00pm and she was sound asleep when Daddy prayed and kissed his two ladies before heading to work at 7:00am. You have to understand that I am a very programmatic person. I like order in my life. In my schedule you will find me in many different locations. Typically I would like to schedule when she wakes up during the night, not to make her a robot but to make sure she is asleep when I come upon that third dimension of sleep. You know, the sleep that once you are into it, if awakened, your day is ruined. Or the sleep when you have that fantastic dream. Or the sleep that makes you drool, just a little though, lol! I've learned rather quickly that that will not happen.

Update for today is that C.J. joined us for dinner. This is a big step for us all. Usually she is asleep but today Mommy held her and ate with one hand. You mothers all know that an octopus has nothing on a mom! C.J. sat so quietly and listened as Mommy and Daddy had meaningful discussion over dinner. Soon enough she will have her seat at the table and be able to feed herself and I cannot wait for the day when C.J. is able to join in the family discussion. We, of course, will talk about the weather!( Those who know me best all know why we will talk about the weather, everyone else will have to wait patiently...I am sure the reason will come up sooner than later). We will also talk about what she learned in school, how she feels, what she wants to do, how she views the world and of course in a house of educators, we will talk about learning and the learning process. Dull stuff to many but there will never be a dull moment in the Johnson household.

So another day of C.J. and Me is coming to an end. Remember to pray because prayer changes things!

1 Month Old

I have to confess, this has been much more than expected. When they are yours my how things change. She poops, I have to change her. When she is up, I have to play with her. When she cries, there is no one to pass her off to. All the watching, playing, listening, planning was useful but in real-time you have to go with your gut.

C.J. and I are getting along well. She knows my touch and feels my love. She looks deep into my eyes as I gaze into hers and their is this feeling that comes over me that she is all mine. Mine to love, to hold, to protect, to advocate for, to provide for, to teach, to assist, to guide, to nurture and to pray for. I am a living example of what she will know a man to be.

I've thought over the past month about the effect she will have on my life. Will I have an even lower tolerance of child abuse and neglect? Will I deal with women differently? Will I be more sensitive? Would I have stronger views on the way women treat themselves? Will I attempt to answer the question of whether or not a man can be a feminist? Trust and believe it will be all about this young lady.

After a month of change one thing I can say is that C.J. and I are in for one long and interesting ride! She already is developing a little personality and is a bit feisty at times. I wonder where she gets that from? Hmmmm....Certainly not I. So what is in store for Miss C.J. Johnson and her dad? Will she enjoy science, we watch the Magic School bus Daily and Shatema (Mommy) reads to her all the scientific books that daddy purchases. Will she know what to do with the basketball she received at birth? She has long arms and long legs not to mention a huge wingspan and hands that might dethrone Candace Parker some day. Will she dance to a different beat? She hears the likes of, Ella, Louie, Whitney, Luther, Earth Wind and Fire, Joss Stone, Amy Whinehouse, Nirvana, Lil Wayne, Kirk Franklin, James Cleveland and Kermit all in one day. Will Daddy approve of her first date? Will he even give the poor boy a chance should be the question. Where will she go to college? What will she like? What will she want to be in life? What will the father/daughter dance selection be at her wedding? Will daddy pay for it all? (Lord's willing, yes!)

I can tell you this, already Daddy loves C.J. and C.J. loves me. Until tomorrow remember to pray, because prayer changes things!