I have to confess, this has been much more than expected. When they are yours my how things change. She poops, I have to change her. When she is up, I have to play with her. When she cries, there is no one to pass her off to. All the watching, playing, listening, planning was useful but in real-time you have to go with your gut.
C.J. and I are getting along well. She knows my touch and feels my love. She looks deep into my eyes as I gaze into hers and their is this feeling that comes over me that she is all mine. Mine to love, to hold, to protect, to advocate for, to provide for, to teach, to assist, to guide, to nurture and to pray for. I am a living example of what she will know a man to be.
I've thought over the past month about the effect she will have on my life. Will I have an even lower tolerance of child abuse and neglect? Will I deal with women differently? Will I be more sensitive? Would I have stronger views on the way women treat themselves? Will I attempt to answer the question of whether or not a man can be a feminist? Trust and believe it will be all about this young lady.
After a month of change one thing I can say is that C.J. and I are in for one long and interesting ride! She already is developing a little personality and is a bit feisty at times. I wonder where she gets that from? Hmmmm....Certainly not I. So what is in store for Miss C.J. Johnson and her dad? Will she enjoy science, we watch the Magic School bus Daily and Shatema (Mommy) reads to her all the scientific books that daddy purchases. Will she know what to do with the basketball she received at birth? She has long arms and long legs not to mention a huge wingspan and hands that might dethrone Candace Parker some day. Will she dance to a different beat? She hears the likes of, Ella, Louie, Whitney, Luther, Earth Wind and Fire, Joss Stone, Amy Whinehouse, Nirvana, Lil Wayne, Kirk Franklin, James Cleveland and Kermit all in one day. Will Daddy approve of her first date? Will he even give the poor boy a chance should be the question. Where will she go to college? What will she like? What will she want to be in life? What will the father/daughter dance selection be at her wedding? Will daddy pay for it all? (Lord's willing, yes!)
I can tell you this, already Daddy loves C.J. and C.J. loves me. Until tomorrow remember to pray, because prayer changes things!
