On many days daddy will come home from work fatigued and dejected. The energy he exerts to provide services to his students and the high level of energy from withing sometimes will get the best of him. He will get so beat down sometimes that he has to listen to his body as it shut down on him. That was the scene today. Worn out at work, (yes it is only Monday)but I had to muster up enough energy to make it to get my ladies.
Life presents many situations for an individual where they must evaluate and make a decision. The decision can be pivotal to not only themselves but to those who love them and for those whose lives they touch on a daily basis in one way or another. Once C.J. came into my life I have been evaluating all that I do. What is important? Will engaging in this activity be a effective use of time? How will this impact on my family? By doing this I gain what? How is this beneficial in the long-run for C.J.
Since C.J. has entered my life I will admit a lot of the things I do and regularly participate have become not important to me. I would rather spend my time with C.J. instead of sitting in a meeting or traveling back and forth to work. I still enjoy doing but I am at a point where I really want to say I will support all the different efforts but you can move on without me. When I look at the hours away from home it hurts me sometimes because on a given day I could see C.J. when I wake her up and drop her off at the sitter. The rest of the day I am away for one reason or another.
I really am beginning to be a family man and it is my responsibility to be there for C.J. Every time I see her I am internally reminded that I am the example of what a man is to her. So if she constantly sees her daddy's back as he descends down the stairs going someplace else. She will begin to think that it may be OK for men to walk in and out of her life. (I know a bit extreme but we never know how things will affect people) I just want to make sure that she understands the concept of family. that she knows what eating dinner together and talking about your day with mommy AND daddy feels like. I want to put her to bed so she feels secure at night. I want her to be able to call out for her daddy and he be there to respond.
C.J. has become a vein filled with joy that circulates within my body. I eat to be healthy to be around for her. I go to work daily to provide for her. I read scripture with her so she hears the word of God even at this young age because I want her to know Jesus for herself. I even shop for her, now if you know me I do not leave myself out either, lol! Anything I do I do it for C.J. and that is why a smile affixed to my face. She is my JOY! and will remain in that spot forever.
I am going call it a night I have got to continue to re-energize myself for the day ahead. In the meantime you all remember to pray because I am a living witness that prayer changes things.
