In my short month as a parent I would not have anyone believe that everything has all been good. As with any new experience you have your ups and downs. You wonder a lot and you have those moments where you simply say, "What the heck did I get myself into?" I would have to say that the biggest issue in the house has been that of scheduling. Mommy has her schedule, Daddy had his and C.J. operates on her own schedule. The problem is that none of the schedules are in sync.
I will go on record to say that I do not buy any of this C.J. will begin to follow our schedule soon. I believe that she should sleep when she wants to and be awake when she wants to. Now I do feel that she should sleep when her parents sleep and be active during the day when we are out and about. I know many people, especially the mothers, will chalk this comment up to me being a rookie on the fatherhood team and you may be correct. However I believe that everything will come together sooner or later. I don't want to rush anything. I just want things to fall into place.
This week this scheduling came into play. Realistically I saw C.J. in the mornings, then again at night, and at both times she was asleep. I am already dreading this weekend when I know I have to work (though not really doing much, I still have to go in.). I'm saying to myself that I really would much rather be at home with C.J. than down at that school. I love my job but C.J. and I need to keep our bond strong. It was evident that she missed me because she slept on me for a long time last night without a peep. On the other hand she showed her disgust in me not being around by crying anytime I held her today. So automatically the wheels started turning in my head as to what I need to stop doing RIGHT NOW to ensure that this does not happen again.
The daily happenings of C.J. continue to amaze me. Every move, sound, gesture and that smile helps me to understand that she is the Princess in my home and that she is already setting her agenda. One day I guess C.J., Shatema and myself will need to sit down and discuss all of our agendas to make sure that we are all on the same page moving in the same direction.
That is all for today, I'm surprised I stayed this focused with the Giants and Cowgirls playing today. Always remember to pray because prayer changes things.
