Tonight as I hold C.J. in one arm and type with the other I recall my childhood. The many simulations of this day that have occured. Even as a child I always thought of being a daddy. The only difference was that my child was never this small. I mean I have attended PTA meetings, walked my daughter down the aisle and even bought her a new car. My many wives and I were always so proud of our daughter too. If only this were grade school again...what a perfect world this would be.
Reality is that C.J. was not born as an adult. She will go through a developmental process which I will have to deal with. I think about all the things I will encounter during her lifetime: the first day of school, the first school dance, when she drums up the nerve to bring some boy to the house, her prom and graduation, the first day of college, graduate school and her receiving her doctorate. Not to mention, when she begins to bud, wears make up, her little friend comes to play for the first time, the first time her heart is broken, when she falls off her bike or doesn't make the team.
Boy oh boy does playing house sound so inviting now, but I know it is not there for me. C.J. is real, she eats, sleeps and breathes. When I get tired of her I can not simply say game over! I have to stick in there and tough it out, and help her be the best C.J. she can be!
I will leave you all now and catch you tomorrow. Until then remember to pray because prayer changes things!
