So Much To Do...So Little Time

I used to look for more hours in a day because I wanted to fit time in to do what I now see as nothing. More dates to hang with the fellas, to recuperate from long nights and to add more amusement to my life. Now I look for more time for two reasons, rest and C.J.

For some reason 24 hours never seems to be enough. When I look back at the day and I factor in the time I drive, the time she sleeps, the time I have to do some type of work, and the time spent preparing for the next day, it seems that my daddy/daughter time is not where I want it to be. Now some of you remember that last week I took some time to prioritize things in my life, to allow for more time with C.J. I did that and I found particular days. Days where C.J. and Daddy can hang out and strengthen the father/daughter bond. I am not referencing those days now. My issue now is time within the day. Days now seem so routine for me. I am a free thinker and spirit. When I plan, it has to be my schedule, not the one forced on me by life...get up, get ready, go to work, work, drive home, cook, prepare for tomorrow, go to sleep. I need some extra hours to just sit and stare at C.J., to go out and toss the ball around, to run around and play tag and to sit for hours and read with her all the science book we can.

Those days will come because God will send them our way! All that needs to be done will be accomplished within the time frame that God allots. I am OK with that because as the preacher said today, "I have a direct connection with God!", and if you're not down with that, I have two words for you, "GET ONE!"

Time will always be of interest for me because I always watch. I think I may need to change the way I look at time moving forward. Currently I always see it as running out. I may need to look at time as what it is, something developed to calculate days, years and centuries. That way it means nothing to me and I just go about my life doing what I want, when I want and how God arranges it to be done.

I will ponder on that. Until I come back with an answer you all remember to pray because prayer changes things.

C.J. Daddy never wants you to be in a hurry. Do things with style and grace. Now I am not telling you to be a slow poke, either. But your Daddy knows that when people rush, they mess up. However, when they take their time, they accomplish what they set out to do. Always loving you, your Daddy!

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

When the times comes to reflect all we will have is pictures. Pictures tell a lot about a person. Hairstyles, clothing preference, when you lost a tooth, the pretty frown you would put on for sympathy and the smile you easily clad when you were happy.

Today the Johnson Family from Old Bridge took their first family portrait. We all looked nice, colors matched well to create a nice photograph. The family photo went off without a hitch. However the story changed when the Princess C.J. watch photographed alone. That is when I knew I would spend money. I mean come on do you think I could leave any pictures of here idle. Let me answer that for you, no.

C.J. was the center of attention because we had to sessions today. One for the church and the other for holiday cards. In both she smiled a little but not as much as she could have. I say could have because when the cameras were noticed affixed to her face she was all smiles. Today was full of joy. When you take pictures you are reminded of how blessed you are. I am blessed to have a loving wife and daughter who mean the world to me. The love was captured for a lifetime today as we smiled for the cameras.

For C.J. this was nothing new to her. Daddy always has a camera pointed in her direction. We have a picture date soon. Once her ears are pierced daddy and C.J. are dawning their NY Giant gear and taking pics supporting our favorite team! Mommy is contemplating joining us too.

Today was great! Lasting memories were captured in time. One day I will sit with C.J. and be able to pinpoint the day and hour that the photo was taken. We can both relive the joy we had in our hearts together. You all remember to pray tonight because prayer changes things.

Government Issued ID

We all knew as children that if your mother called you using your entire name that you were in some deep trouble. For me that would have been, Jamal Tyre Johnson.... I never wanted to hear that combination together. The response was always, "Dag, she called my whole name, I am in trouble now." The entire name brought fear into your heart. It made your mind begin to wander. It made you cringe because you never knew what was coming to you.

Well I decided to begin early with calling C.J. by her government. Actually I found it funny and the sad thing is that she did too. Today C.J. decided that she wanted to be difficult. This morning she fussed during her entire dressing. I mean yelling at the top of her lungs like someone was hurting her. I looked my little girl dead in the face and said "Camille Jamari Johnson, you need to hush up and let your Mommy finish making you look like we love and care for you". Her little butt paid me no attention, which brings us to her little episode in the car home. I will go on record to say this, she better be glad she did not act up in the mall or it would have been ugly between us two. We are driving home, everyone is cool, the music is playing, no traffic was out...it was a good smooth ride.

Suddenly out of nowhere Shatema's daughter begins to cry hysterically. Now she just had eaten. She was the recipient of Daddy and Mommy's hard earned pay checks, and she was dry, so why she wanted to act up is beyond me. I had another stop to make, so Mommy dealt with her but she would not stop. So we resume to making our way home, and then when she decided to, she began to fade off. Now I wanted to kick her little butt but I just appreciated the moment because I just wanted her quiet.

I felt like calling her out again but I figured one instance of your entire governmental in a day was enough. Needless to say this girl of mine is developing an interesting little personality. I guess we will be going at it in the years to come. I will love her but she ain't going to be the boss of me, lol. Well tonight I am going to head off to bed. Long day tomorrow. Until then you all remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Speak For Yourself

OK, sometimes I have to vent. I promise to keep everything relevant to the cause though. Growing up, the one thing that separated my siblings and I from many other children we knew was that we were allowed to say what was on our minds. We are all able to stand behind what we say and what we believe. When we say something we mean it no matter how it may come out. I thank my parents because I think that I am a stronger person today because of it.

Having that ability as a child helped me to not be scared to speak in front of people. More importantly it made me learn how to speak for myself. To this day I will never let someone speak for me. It hurt me today to see a young man stand and look as his mother engaged in dialogue with me concerning his future. It annoyed me so much that when our conversation was done I asked the young man if he was able to speak. When you let someone speak for you, they have the opportunity to plan for you and then live for you. I really do not care if it is someone's mother or father. We all were given one brain that allows us to think for ourselves.

As I reflect on my childhood I recall how people thought my parents were crazy for allowing us to speak for ourselves. To their chagrin it was everyone else that had it wrong. I am am confident in my speech, articulate when I present and I think a lot more about what I say and how I say it, all because I was allowed to speak my mind as a child. It helped shape me into who I am today.

So as I begin life with C.J. she too will be a child who is allowed to speak for herself. As long asIi instill in her the right way to do so, C.J. will be fine. Just like her daddy, she will be a confident young woman who stands on her word firmly and will know how to represent herself and her family well. So good people until next time, always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Stop! Daddy Time!!!

Today was a different kind of day. Daddy and C.J. were together more than usual. Daddy had to step up to do some daily tasks that he normally does not do. Mommy was not feeling well so she decided to stay home to get better. So C.J. had to ride in the back seat today without any conversation and daddy had to drive and not be able to look back in on his princess.

The day got better once we arrived home. Mommy was still relaxing but C.J. needed to be changed. Now I will admit I will yield to mommy to change diapers but today was daddy time so I stepped to the plate. Needless to say C.J. had hit a home-run in her pamper. This was not going to be good. So I got all my utensils together to change a successful pamper. I grabbed a pamper, a handful of wipes, some ointment and a washcloth because this was going to be heavy duty. When I pulled the pamper back all I could say was, "Oh my God!" It was all over the place, I wish I could have passed her off but I proceeded to handle my business.

Later on in the evening it was my time to shine again as I gave her a bath, of course mommy stood and supervised. The good thing about it was that she was perfectly calm throughout the entire bath. After the bath I greased her all up and gave her to mommy for reading time. Eloise Greenfield Poetry was the selected reading of the day.

Now C.J. should have been sleep after that but she was not. So of course daddy went and got his princess and held her for a bit. Then I put her in the crib, turned on the mobile and the rest is history. She is sound asleep now and hopefully she will continue to sleep through the night.

Daddy put his time in today and would do it any day of the week. You all remember to pray and include someone else in your prayers. prayer changes things but prayer has to be offered up to work! Be blessed.

Proud Poppa Bear

I was excited the day I graduated high school but the excitement soon faded away. When I walked the stage to receive my degree I smiled from ear to ear but soon the smile went back to normal. The day I got married I was walking on sunshine and still am walking on that same sunshine, but some moons have come my way. The day C.J. was born, quite frankly, might go down as one of my proudest moments. I say that because the feeling has not gone away yet. Anytime someone asks about her or they respond to one of her pictures on my desk at work, a feeling comes over me and my chest pokes out a little.

I feel this way because God has blessed me with a responsibilty to nurture, protect, teach and provide for one of His children. He created C.J. in his image just for me to be her Daddy here on earth. He gave her some of my looks (of course) and her personality is beginning to bud. She is full of life, and is quite the little loud one too. She must get that from her Daddy, lol! C.J. will be heard!

What I am most proud of is that C.J. is very responsive. Each night Shatema bathes her, moisturizes her skin, gets her all warm and snuggly, comforts her, prays with her and then begins to reveal knowledge to her by way of a very diverse literature collection. During this time I let them be so they could have their mommy/daughter time. Most of the time I am feverishly working and I do not hear a thing. Tonight was different. As I worked at the computer I could hear most of what was going on. I paused and listened, and actually heard C.J. responding to what Shatema was reading. She was loud and on cue too. A huge grin came upon my face and I even typed a message to a friend that I wanted to shed a tear because of what I heard. I told her that I was a proud poppa bear.

I was read to as a child and always had an extensive library but I never enjoyed reading. I could read very well but sitting down and reading a book was not my thing. It was not until later in life when I began to love research that I had a desire to read, but it is difficult because I did not practice as a child. It is the reason why I am very particular with regard to making sure that C.J. is read to daily. The babysitter reads, Mommy reads and Daddy reads with C.J., and to hear her being responsive tells me she enjoys what she is hearing.

It is my prayer that I have many more proud moments to log into my memory book. August 7th, 2009 was the beginning and November 10th, 2009 is another log entry. What is next? We do not know yet but I anxiously await the moment it comes. Until next time, always remember to pray because prayer still changes things!

Two Faced

I am not going to get deep tonight. I have to simply tell you all about C.J.'s visit to the doctor for her 3 month visit. My girl was awake for the first time so we knew she was up to something. So we are sitting in the examination room waiting for the doctor. C.J. is looking all over the place. She was really fascinated with the instruments she saw in the room. She would look then smile and giggle. I mean she was live folks. I had her on the table talking to her and she was responding. It was a sight to see.

Suddenly the doctor comes in and the mood changes. Almost as thew white jacket was seen through the door, C.J. look the lip drops and the cutest frown comes across her face. then the crying began and she actually had tears. We stood around and tried to figure out why she started crying. I could not even console her. The doctor said she was very emotional for her age, I cracked up when he said that. This girl cried through the whole examination today. Here is the craziest part of the evening. After two shots in the thigh C.J. calms down and is quiet. Now you tell me how backwards that is.

I had to share that because she was in rare form today. Yes, daddy called his girl two-faced! I love her though. So tomorrow is another day, until then you all always remember to pray becasue prayer changes things.