Well I have to admit something to you all, the sound of a baby waking up at 3:30am is a sound that has become all too familiar. She will whimper, squirm and then let out a cry that says, "You all know the drill, get up!" So it was my turn to get her back to sleep and last night I figured out that the rocking motion helps a lot. So needless to say, I did not have to stay up too long.
Now one thing I try not to do, but in my line of business you can not do all that well, is bring work home, mentally or physically. Today was different. I needed to vent and home was the only safe place. So I had to tell C.J. about my day. I must say she is helping me to curb my tongue. I might have slipped twice. OK, it was three times but if you know me you know that means I have gotten better. I think it is healthy for her to know that Daddy is not happy all the time. I think this is important because she will one day have to deal with a lot of emotions. I would hope that throughout her life she will see how to deal with all emotions effectively. I think I did well though, I vented, received feedback and developed an action plan. A process I will pass down to lil C.J. one day.
C.J. was her usual self when I got home. I quickly washed my hands so I could hold her for a while and listen to what she had to say. I also decided to stop in on reading time today. Mommy is reading Hill Harper's "Letter to a Young Sister" to her now. Today it was about a young lady finding purpose and maximizing potential in college. How ironic that college for kids was the lunch discussion today. I made the statement, and will stand by it, that as long as C.J. loves what she does she can be anything she wants to be. That means a meteorologist, ballet dancer or plumber. I will make it my business not to live her life for her. My life is tough enough so I will let her do her.
The night was easy...she is bathed, fed and now sleeping. I decided to wait until late tonight because I wanted to process how my venting could affect her. I think she will be just fine. So as always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.
