YUCK!!!

Alright folks she baptized me and I'm the minister. She gave back some of her milk down my back. It was yucky and ran all the way down my back. Good thing I didn't have a suit on. I know that sounds very mean to say but dry cleaning is expensive and we want to make sure C.J. eats. Come on people, it's a joke, laugh with me.

So we have had other yucky situations too. Diapers changes have been become more and more smelly as of late and C.J. needs to learn how to spray the glade quickly. I mean it oozes and runs and the smell would make you think that she feasted on rotten milk but she does not and Daddy makes sure of that.

Today C.J. and I listened to music. She was quiet through George Clinton and Earth Wind and Fire. We danced to Daddy's favorite song, September, too. So this is all post bath time too. Usually she is asleep by now but she is up and about now. Why she is up, we don't know, but we are trying everything to put her down. I am sure a warm embrace from Dad will do the trick.

I've noticed that she seems to be a lot more active now which makes me excited because that means playtime with Daddy will commence, and who knows what will go on there. It's what I have been waiting for since she was born...the basketball is ready to go.

Welp tonight has to be short because I have to get ready for a long day tomorrow. C.J.'s got me today but tomorrow and the next day I will be ready for her, lol. As always remember to pray becasue prayer changes things.

Define Normal

In my lifetime I've had many conversations with parents. Whether it was as a teacher during back to school night, a counselor discussing admissions or as a concerned citizen speaking with parents in the community. I have talked with them all about God only knows what and none of them ever told me that I would never utter the word "normal" again. C.J. has come into my life and changed the way I do life, even waking up in the morning. Like today, I pressed the snooze button three times. C.J. wanted to be fed at 4:00am right when I was (again) entering that level of sleep where it gets real good. So I figured if I lose this time, by pressing the snooze button, I would make it up. The result, late to work again.

Now tonight, I come home ready to create a nice Asian dish for dinner, (OK, it was chicken stir fry over lo mein noodles),however, I had to make some minor adjustments since I wanted to hold C.J. and cook at the same time. So she watched me cook today. Hopefully she picked up some pointers. Operating with one hand made me realize once again that changes have had to be made, and I'd better begin looking at things differently right now.

Even when riding to the doctor's office, I have lost my co-pilot. Shatema now sits in the back seat with my little lady. Try having a conversation by way of the rear view mirror. Also I can't even play my music up all loud anymore, lol. So when my jam comes across the airwaves I have to just sway from side to side versus getting buck-wild like I used to.

Now one might say man does he sound bitter. Trust me I am not. So what, things will never be normal again. To tell the truth I am abnormal. Nothing I do is normal...I don't eat, dress, sleep, perform tasks, or even think, normally. So C.J. coming along just helps her old man think of new and exciting ways to be creative. Who needs normalcy anyway? We should all live our lives doing new and exciting things. Every day we should be innovative and inventive! So thank you C.J. for helping Daddy remain walking on the edge of the box, and I look forward to the day when we can be abnormal together. That is all for today, remember to pray because prayer changes things!

Scheduling Conflict

In my short month as a parent I would not have anyone believe that everything has all been good. As with any new experience you have your ups and downs. You wonder a lot and you have those moments where you simply say, "What the heck did I get myself into?" I would have to say that the biggest issue in the house has been that of scheduling. Mommy has her schedule, Daddy had his and C.J. operates on her own schedule. The problem is that none of the schedules are in sync.

I will go on record to say that I do not buy any of this C.J. will begin to follow our schedule soon. I believe that she should sleep when she wants to and be awake when she wants to. Now I do feel that she should sleep when her parents sleep and be active during the day when we are out and about. I know many people, especially the mothers, will chalk this comment up to me being a rookie on the fatherhood team and you may be correct. However I believe that everything will come together sooner or later. I don't want to rush anything. I just want things to fall into place.

This week this scheduling came into play. Realistically I saw C.J. in the mornings, then again at night, and at both times she was asleep. I am already dreading this weekend when I know I have to work (though not really doing much, I still have to go in.). I'm saying to myself that I really would much rather be at home with C.J. than down at that school. I love my job but C.J. and I need to keep our bond strong. It was evident that she missed me because she slept on me for a long time last night without a peep. On the other hand she showed her disgust in me not being around by crying anytime I held her today. So automatically the wheels started turning in my head as to what I need to stop doing RIGHT NOW to ensure that this does not happen again.

The daily happenings of C.J. continue to amaze me. Every move, sound, gesture and that smile helps me to understand that she is the Princess in my home and that she is already setting her agenda. One day I guess C.J., Shatema and myself will need to sit down and discuss all of our agendas to make sure that we are all on the same page moving in the same direction.

That is all for today, I'm surprised I stayed this focused with the Giants and Cowgirls playing today. Always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

What Is With The Closed Fist

OK, I have taken pictures of my twin (C.J.) everyday since she has been upon the earth and one thing is the same all the time. C.J. loves to clinch her fist in photos. Now I didn't know that my crush on Laila Ali would amount to this. I want her to be able to defend herself but she looks like she is gearing up to be a fighter. Some may say not to worry about the fist. Maybe she is going to do an in depth study on Angela Davis. No matter what reason one will choose to go with,the girl has the fist clinched and ready to go whenever she needs to.

Today was another one of those long unusual days. I had a meeting early this morning and then was invited to a football game this evening. Needless to say I didn't get to chill with C.J. and watch football today, and me knowing my loving wife, (SMILE Shatema because I know you will read this) can bet all I have to say that she didn't have C.J. no where close to the television to get her sports in for the week.

As we tailgated in the parking lot I saw a man with a Baby Bjorn carrier bringing his very young child to the game today. (Now people the child looked to be C.J.'s age if not younger). I am all for bringing your kids out to enjoy a nice game but this guy was nuts. My wife, mother, grandmother, aunts, mother in-law and sister in-law, not to mention my own dad, would have called the police on themselves after they took part in my burning at the stake if I pulled a stunt like that. I visualized myself and C.J.adorned in our favorite players jersey, grilling some burgers, her with some candy and pompoms and dad with some peanuts getting overly excited as we make our way to our seats after some annual tailgating. It is funny I just remembered one of my college roommates asked if she would be coming to homecoming this year. I said, "Not this year but she will be out and about next year."

It will be great to do things like that with her and I look forward to it. Of course we will take pictures and probably she will pose with her trademark of a closed fist and a smile. I will admit, I do hate not being around her 24 hours a day but I will work on that. We all know it won't be a raise on the job, Jimbo Corzine has saw to that. That only leaves me to hit the lotto...if I only played. Maybe it is time for me to exercise my one dollar and a dream! That is all for tonight folks, time to go get some rest and prepare for Worship tomorrow. As always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

One Day At A Time

Well I have to admit something to you all, the sound of a baby waking up at 3:30am is a sound that has become all too familiar. She will whimper, squirm and then let out a cry that says, "You all know the drill, get up!" So it was my turn to get her back to sleep and last night I figured out that the rocking motion helps a lot. So needless to say, I did not have to stay up too long.

Now one thing I try not to do, but in my line of business you can not do all that well, is bring work home, mentally or physically. Today was different. I needed to vent and home was the only safe place. So I had to tell C.J. about my day. I must say she is helping me to curb my tongue. I might have slipped twice. OK, it was three times but if you know me you know that means I have gotten better. I think it is healthy for her to know that Daddy is not happy all the time. I think this is important because she will one day have to deal with a lot of emotions. I would hope that throughout her life she will see how to deal with all emotions effectively. I think I did well though, I vented, received feedback and developed an action plan. A process I will pass down to lil C.J. one day.

C.J. was her usual self when I got home. I quickly washed my hands so I could hold her for a while and listen to what she had to say. I also decided to stop in on reading time today. Mommy is reading Hill Harper's "Letter to a Young Sister" to her now. Today it was about a young lady finding purpose and maximizing potential in college. How ironic that college for kids was the lunch discussion today. I made the statement, and will stand by it, that as long as C.J. loves what she does she can be anything she wants to be. That means a meteorologist, ballet dancer or plumber. I will make it my business not to live her life for her. My life is tough enough so I will let her do her.

The night was easy...she is bathed, fed and now sleeping. I decided to wait until late tonight because I wanted to process how my venting could affect her. I think she will be just fine. So as always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Home Sweet Home

Usually when I leave in the morning C.J. is sound asleep. This morning I was running a little late and before I could leave C.J. was wide awake. I heard her squirming around in her crib and when I look down to pick her up her bright eyes were fixed upon my face. At this point I'm leaning over to Shatema saying, "I think I am going to call out." Just seeing her face full of smiles and her eyes following my every move was enough to melt me instantly. Even though my heart said to stay, my head said take your butt to work. So I prayed with my two ladies, kissed them on the forehead like I do every morning and made my way to the door.

Upon returning home today I performed as usual by taking off my suit jacket and washing my hands. Even though C.J. was asleep I picked her up. I did this today because the feeling I left home with never left as the day grew older. Today I believe that absence does make the heart grow fonder. At this rate my heart will grow very large because the days are so long and they keep me away from my C.J., who if the jury remains the same will have another nickname of "Twin" because she looks like her daddy. So feeling so compelled I added another picture to the catalog to freeze this moment in time.

As another night is upon us C.J. and I are doing just fine. A bond is being formed that no one will ever be able to infiltrate. A relationship for the ages is developing here in Old Bridge. One that prayerfully will be an example to others. Oh yeah I almost forgot. You all know that C.J. is being home schooled at this very moment. Shatema shared that everyday between two and three o'clock they watch "Sid The Science Kid", link provided (http://pbskids.org/sid/) this show will strengthen her Science skills which we all know in this world she will need. The show also reinforces all the science related stuff I have bought for her already! Well for tonight that is all folks. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things!

Only Left To Wonder

Even though I try hard not to, it seems that I am always busy. I have really paid close attention to what I get involved with and going back for years now I have slowed down a bunch. Well until tonight when I got home and realized the sun had risen and set and I was away from my Princess.

Now I quickly looked at my day and would not take anything away from it. I met with a young lady who is on the ball ready to go to college and I caught the last few moments of bible study which is always a plus. These things continue to make me who I am today and the man she will come to know more as she grows. So I started to think what are some things that C.J. and I can do together?

The first thing that came to mind was tossing the old pigskin. For all of you who think it is sad that I would want to do this, for one I want to break gender norms, and from my educational background, it will help with hand and eye coordination. (How do you like that for size) I just want to be around C.J. all the time and I have to start thinking of things now that will allow that to happen. I don't want to smother her but every moment seems precious and special, and not to mention, every moment is one I don't want to miss.

I will always have church meetings and clients to work with and events to go to and everyday nine to five stuff to complete. One thing I know now is that I want my day to start with C.J. and end with C.J., that way I will feel complete and she will be whole. As I type I hear her whimpering a little now a great excuse for me just to go glimpse at her beautifully resting face once more. As I tell everyone I come in contact with who asks, "I really love being a father" and one bit of advice at this early stage I will share with any man who will walk this way is that you should spend as much time with your child as possible. It will make you both better because of the QUALITY time spent. That is all for today. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.