One Day At A Time

Well I have to admit something to you all, the sound of a baby waking up at 3:30am is a sound that has become all too familiar. She will whimper, squirm and then let out a cry that says, "You all know the drill, get up!" So it was my turn to get her back to sleep and last night I figured out that the rocking motion helps a lot. So needless to say, I did not have to stay up too long.

Now one thing I try not to do, but in my line of business you can not do all that well, is bring work home, mentally or physically. Today was different. I needed to vent and home was the only safe place. So I had to tell C.J. about my day. I must say she is helping me to curb my tongue. I might have slipped twice. OK, it was three times but if you know me you know that means I have gotten better. I think it is healthy for her to know that Daddy is not happy all the time. I think this is important because she will one day have to deal with a lot of emotions. I would hope that throughout her life she will see how to deal with all emotions effectively. I think I did well though, I vented, received feedback and developed an action plan. A process I will pass down to lil C.J. one day.

C.J. was her usual self when I got home. I quickly washed my hands so I could hold her for a while and listen to what she had to say. I also decided to stop in on reading time today. Mommy is reading Hill Harper's "Letter to a Young Sister" to her now. Today it was about a young lady finding purpose and maximizing potential in college. How ironic that college for kids was the lunch discussion today. I made the statement, and will stand by it, that as long as C.J. loves what she does she can be anything she wants to be. That means a meteorologist, ballet dancer or plumber. I will make it my business not to live her life for her. My life is tough enough so I will let her do her.

The night was easy...she is bathed, fed and now sleeping. I decided to wait until late tonight because I wanted to process how my venting could affect her. I think she will be just fine. So as always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Home Sweet Home

Usually when I leave in the morning C.J. is sound asleep. This morning I was running a little late and before I could leave C.J. was wide awake. I heard her squirming around in her crib and when I look down to pick her up her bright eyes were fixed upon my face. At this point I'm leaning over to Shatema saying, "I think I am going to call out." Just seeing her face full of smiles and her eyes following my every move was enough to melt me instantly. Even though my heart said to stay, my head said take your butt to work. So I prayed with my two ladies, kissed them on the forehead like I do every morning and made my way to the door.

Upon returning home today I performed as usual by taking off my suit jacket and washing my hands. Even though C.J. was asleep I picked her up. I did this today because the feeling I left home with never left as the day grew older. Today I believe that absence does make the heart grow fonder. At this rate my heart will grow very large because the days are so long and they keep me away from my C.J., who if the jury remains the same will have another nickname of "Twin" because she looks like her daddy. So feeling so compelled I added another picture to the catalog to freeze this moment in time.

As another night is upon us C.J. and I are doing just fine. A bond is being formed that no one will ever be able to infiltrate. A relationship for the ages is developing here in Old Bridge. One that prayerfully will be an example to others. Oh yeah I almost forgot. You all know that C.J. is being home schooled at this very moment. Shatema shared that everyday between two and three o'clock they watch "Sid The Science Kid", link provided (http://pbskids.org/sid/) this show will strengthen her Science skills which we all know in this world she will need. The show also reinforces all the science related stuff I have bought for her already! Well for tonight that is all folks. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things!

Only Left To Wonder

Even though I try hard not to, it seems that I am always busy. I have really paid close attention to what I get involved with and going back for years now I have slowed down a bunch. Well until tonight when I got home and realized the sun had risen and set and I was away from my Princess.

Now I quickly looked at my day and would not take anything away from it. I met with a young lady who is on the ball ready to go to college and I caught the last few moments of bible study which is always a plus. These things continue to make me who I am today and the man she will come to know more as she grows. So I started to think what are some things that C.J. and I can do together?

The first thing that came to mind was tossing the old pigskin. For all of you who think it is sad that I would want to do this, for one I want to break gender norms, and from my educational background, it will help with hand and eye coordination. (How do you like that for size) I just want to be around C.J. all the time and I have to start thinking of things now that will allow that to happen. I don't want to smother her but every moment seems precious and special, and not to mention, every moment is one I don't want to miss.

I will always have church meetings and clients to work with and events to go to and everyday nine to five stuff to complete. One thing I know now is that I want my day to start with C.J. and end with C.J., that way I will feel complete and she will be whole. As I type I hear her whimpering a little now a great excuse for me just to go glimpse at her beautifully resting face once more. As I tell everyone I come in contact with who asks, "I really love being a father" and one bit of advice at this early stage I will share with any man who will walk this way is that you should spend as much time with your child as possible. It will make you both better because of the QUALITY time spent. That is all for today. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

A Bad Day

Today was a bad day. I'm right around the corner from work and I get a ticket. The cop was at least kind enough not to make it a moving violation, but it went all down hill from there. My intention was to go to Dunkin Donuts to get a muffin to go with my usual morning Green Tea. Needless to say I was so upset after the ticket I didn't make it to get the muffin nor did I have my Green Tea. Now if you know me you know I am the life of the party. I don't think I said one word to anybody the entire morning. I stayed in my cube and completed the work I needed to complete for the day. Now the result of me not eating breakfast was that my stomach hurt and I developed a horrible headache.

So needless to say the ride home was not the best. My head still pounded. I guess lunch wasn't good enough and I was tired. So I really just wanted to come home and go to sleep. However about a mile out I remembered I have a little baby girl home awaiting me so she can get her dose of Daddy time. So I mustered up enough energy to make it up the stairs and there she was relaxing in her mother's arms. So I put my bag down and washed my hands, (you all know the drill by now) grabbed her up and gave her her evening kiss to match the one I give her every morning. I talked with her to see how her day went and held her close until bath time.

I have to mention she made a call to her big cousin Breezie today. She was trying to say something but of course no words came out. Breezie spoke to her though, lol. I am thinking about the trouble those two will get into soon enough.

What I learned today is how much your family can change the outlook of a day. Mine started out horrible but as soon as I came home to embrace my two ladies, especially this little one, I felt loved and felt a sense of calm come completely over me.

That is all for today. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Tears

OK, so I walk in from a long drive home. (Work was decent today, didn't even get upset with anyone or about anything.) Come upstairs to find my baby C.J. relaxing with Mom. They both looked so peaceful. Now I know they fought all day, but at that moment, things were "All Quiet on the Old Bridge Front". I hurried to put my bags down and wash my hands which seems to be a new process I follow daily. I go over to kiss Mommy and then as I go to pick up C.J., it just so happens she smirks and gets excited when she sees her Daddy. To some this might not mean anything but to me it means the world. That means her little eyes know what her Daddy looks like and her little ears recognize her Daddy's voice. I don't care what Science or even Piaget and his stages of development says, C.J. goes against the grain. I was so happy to see her get excited that I didn't even notice the horrid smell coming from her pamper. I have to tell you the truth, I said, "Mommy you can have her back, lol!" I mean don't get me wrong, you all know I love my kid but I smelled what I would see and opted to let Mommy love her more for that moment in time. No wonder she was so quiet, I would be quiet too if I smelled like that.

So the highlight of the day is that when she cried today she actually had a tear. Me being me asked Mommy where did it come from? She answered with her usual bluntness, a tear duct. Now up until now when she cried it was just noise but now she has actual tears. What am I going to do now? I know I am not going to be able to deal with seeing a tear roll down that cute little cheek. I have to work on that because I am already weak.

I am really enjoying this daddy thing more and more. I find myself thinking about this little girl all day long and can't wait until I get home each day. You all just watch when she gets stronger and is crawling and sitting up and all that good stuff. C.J. and I are going to have so much fun. Watch out world! Until tomorrow, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Catch Up

So early in the process and I missed a day. I guess I have to blame the USC/Ohio State game for that. I will have you know that C.J. was watching it with me though. We watched that and the Notre Dame/Michigan game together yesterday while mommy went to a baby shower. For all of you who think I am nuts for having my baby girl watch sports I will have you know that she was attentive for both until she fell asleep. Seems like we have us a bonding ritual forming already. I will say that I believe that it is important for me to get close with her. She had nine months with mommy so daddy has some time to make up, lol. I have to tell you it is so relaxing to see her little eyes stare up from time to time. Mommy could have stayed away all day if she wanted too and C.J. and I would have been fine with that.

During the day I explained to C.J. that I needed a lot of sleep because I had to preach today and my girl obliged her daddy and slept through the night, well most of it, I planned to get up at 5:30am and she got up at 4:00am but that was OK with me. She is working well with daddy and his ministry already, providing me with the time I need to prepare and the rest I need to function at 100% when I step behind that sacred desk.

On today we had to leave her because mommy wanted to come support daddy at church. It was our first time leaving her so we had to prepare everything to make sure all her needs where met when we were gone. Now she only stayed with her Auntie Brandie but still leaving her with anyone other than mommy means their are some directions and directives that must be followed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though. I told her to behave and mommy only spent maybe 6 minutes upstairs explaining things to Auntie before she came down to head to church.

As usual we end the day together as a family, ( I must add that we begin each day with prayer together too)C.J. running the show and daddy devising ways to get his #1 spot back. She is continuing to develop her little personality and I must admit she is shaping up to be a force to be reckoned with. She took a pic this weekend and she was all dolled up but made sure to clinch her fist when the picture was taken. I've told everyone that this means she will be a dainty girl but will let you have it if need be. My dad says she will be a tomboy but I don't think that. i think she will be very active and do it her way.

As usual remember to pray, becasue prayer changes things.

Tomorrow Mommy Is Gone

I must say I am looking forward to spending the afternoon with C.J. all by myself. The question is what do we do? Now we could sit and watch football all day, which wouldn't be bad at all or we could paint the town red and spend a little. The weather is changing and C.J. needs some sweatsuits and sneakers. Now you all know that Mommy would not be pleased with either but guess what, she won't be here anyway. So we will see what tomorrow brings Lords willing.

Guess what? C.J. #1 and C.J. #2 met for the first time today. These two will have a lifetime of growing, learning and playing together. Tonight they wanted to see who could make the loudest sounds, they both stated their case but #1 showed that he was champ.

Not much tonight its been pretty mild and calm. Until tomorrow remember to pray , prayer changes things!