Splitsville

OK, today was the first day I had to preach with my mind someplace else. So when I left the house this morning I had to get my mind right because with C.J., sick or not, God's word must go forth with power and clarity. And PRAISE be to God, that is what happened.

I will admit that the drive to church was solemn this morning. I longed for Mommy's nagging and C.J.'s periodic sounds. Somehow they make me feel at ease and ready for anything I encounter. So this morning I had to settle for KISS Inspirations to get me ready for church this morning. I made sure I lifted my baby up in prayer, too.

Now today I actually felt separation anxiety. I was not too worried about C.J.'s health because I know she will be fine. The issue I had today was being away from her. Now I am away from her on most days and a lot on weekends but today was different. I was so antsy with being away from her that I did not even stay at Ma's house for dinner. I got some plates to go and back down to the Bridge I went.

So the stage is set and the sitters are all in place. Daddy will be able to go to work but you better believe she will be on my mind. So I will deal with my separation anxiety. I think I can tame it to make it through the day though. So please you all keep me in prayer and do not forget to pray because as we all know Prayer changes things.

Note to C.J.: Daddy wants you to know how much of a trooper you have been during your little sickness. You remained tough and active even though your body was weak and you were coughing more than smiling. I am very proud of you and know that you are already a strong girl that will turn into a strong woman.

Sick Saturday

Well what we thought was confirmed. C.J. is sick. The good thing about it is that her doctor told us to come in to his office so he could see what the deal was, instead of toughing out the weekend and coming to him on Monday. I, for one, was very happy about this because you never want to see your baby sick. I will have you know that my baby has been a trooper through this all. Her appetite is not where it usually is, but she is still the happiest baby you will find on the face of the earth. C.J. is still all smiles despite feeling pretty bad.

Today was the first day my plans were altered due to my baby but you live and get over it. One thing I really hate is when people do not keep commitments. Until today I never understood it. I felt really bad about having to cancel but my family is my first priority in life and duty called.

Now to the things that really upset me today. After we left the doctor's office we had to go fill a prescription. Part of the prescription called for some machinery. Now I go to work every day. Last year I was forced to pay a part of my insurance plan and this year I had to take furlough days by force, so of course that means money out of my check, all in the name of politics. I am taking one for the State of New Jersey. So when I go to the pharmacy and the pharmacist tell me that the insurance company is not going to cover my sick child's stuff you know I was fuming. I work hard every day and this is the thanks I get. All I ever think about is how we bend over backwards for those who do not work and we who do get kicked in the behind daily.

Thank God for family though because we have what we need and did not have to fatten the pockets of some big time company to get it. C.J. will be fine, and Daddy will be OK for now, until Horizon gives him another reason to get ugly with them. I am sure they will.

We had to inform the babysitter that C.J. would not be coming this week. I wish the stupid girl who sent her sick son last week could read this. We are keeping her home so the other kid does not get sick as well. It is what you are suppose to do as a parent, young lady. Now because of her I have to take days off of work but I will because I am a RESPONSIBLE parent.

So C.J. is resting a lot more comfortably tonight. She will be back to her normal self in no time. Just in time for her week with Daddy. Now that she will be in recovery mode, we will need to scale back some of what we were going to do, but we will have fun nonetheless. We have a GIANTS picture to take that I have been looking forward to for a while now.

So as I go, you all remember to pray because prayer changes things.

SICK

At the doctor earlier this week, Mommy asked when C.J. would get sick for the first time. I thought it was a rather odd question but listened for an answer nonetheless. Unfortunately, Mommy did not have to wait long for her answer. Though not anything severe, C.J. is battling her first cold. Now you know Daddy could have gone a long time without seeing his baby sick but the time is here, and one has to act accordingly.

Now I must throw in the bonehead parent who sent her child to the sitter with a full blown cold on Monday. Then, against the sitter's wishes, sent her son on Tuesday with another person in true hoodlum fashion. Now, do not get me wrong, I understand having to work and all of that, but when other parties are involved, you can not be so selfish. This morning C.J. coughed once every 1/2 hour it seemed. The ride to work was crazy. All the way to the sitter I wondered should I just call out and chill at home with C.J., but she had no symptoms. Mommy called the sitter all day and I was on standby just in case she actually was sick. I was out of there like a bat out of hell. The good thing was that she made it through the day, no coughing or anything but you could see it coming on and when we arrived home, the sickness came out. It is not bad but it's the first time, and of course as a new mommy and daddy, we are overly cautious.

So the weekend is a wrap. C.J. will be inside and staying warm. The weather changing, and her being around that sick kid, took a toll on her. We are going to get her back to 100% and get ready to enjoy our time together during the holiday break. So tonight I am going to get off early and tend to my lil princess. You all remember to pray because prayer changes things. Even the sick report!

Thoughts of C.J.

There are some days where I will sit and think about C.J. for most of the day. I think about how she will grow. How she will look? How she will act? What things she will enjoy and how we will both mature in this father/daughter relationship? Most of the time what comes to my head is music. For a long time now music has served as my outlet. Some of you may know a song I heard "Your Joy" at one of my best friend's weddings. It is the storyboard for what C.J. is to me...simply "My Joy". Well today, two other old school songs came to mind. The first would be "Chocolate Girl" by the Whispers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R1L7xLMLK4

The other song today was, "You're A Big Girl Now" by the Stylistics. This song speaks of how a little girl grows into a young woman. Similar to "Your Joy" by Chrisette Michele, they present to a father his little girl maturing into a young woman. As I spoke with a young lady today it became more and more evident that C.J. having me in her life will be beneficial to her healthy growth into adulthood. It convinced me that I must continue to be the example of what a man is, what she should expect and how one should treat her. It is a tall task but no one is more equipped and ready to work at the task than me. I have attached the lyrics for you:

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

No more pigtail's
In your hair
No more silly looks
With a childish glare

No more dolls
For you to play
No more dumbness
In the things you say

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

You can love girl
If you must
You can kiss girl
If you must

But you see
Day by Day
All the realness
In your way

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

Baby I love you
(Baby I love you)
Yes I do
(oh yes I do now)
In all my life
(In all of my life)
You're my dream come true
(You're my dream come true)
You're a big girl now
(You're a big girl now)
Yes you are
You're my happiness
You're my shining star
(Shining star)

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

(You're a big girl now
No more daddy' little girl)

As I sang these lyrics to C.J. before her bath tonight I looked into her eyes as they stared back into mine. A smirk of comfort came across both our faces. We are beginning to understand each other even though she is still so young. We are creating a complex chemistry that the two of us will share the solution to solving. God, I thank you for placing C.J. in my life!

As I part, you all remember to pray because prayer changes things!

A Lot Of Work To Do

This entry today will be more of a reflection today. I have to admit, I put a lot into work. I not only give my hours but I give my heart and soul. I have chosen to make education an area that I would dedicate my life towards. The first lesson I always teach is that education is not retaining and regurgitating information. Part of my philosophy is that education is planted and then nurtured to help it grow. If someone is truly educated they should never forget the knowledge not information they gained.

All in the name of education I made the decision to move to an area where the education, public I might add is what I feel up to par. I wanted to provide C.J., long before she was thought about or born the best garden possible to grow and flourish in. With her daddy and mommy doing their watering, fertilizing and pruning and the teachers and community doing their part I believe that C.J. will have the optimum environment for educational growth. Never will it be OK for C.J. to just cram information in her head for tests and grades. I want her to acquire knowledge that she can draw from for the rest of her life.

This all stems from what I saw at work the past two days. I saw students who are not challenged, not allowed to explore different academic subjects, schools that paid more for security cameras than their course offerings. I met with students who thought it was OK, to not do well and then expect for someone not to look at their historical grades. I saw a kid who were content with mediocracy and school districts that fostered that behavior.

As a educator I want more for these children. I will continue to fight that they be challenged and given the opportunity to explore the world beyond their home cities. I will continue to advocate on their behalf that they deserve educators who are willing to take them to places beyond their wildest imaginations. I will continue to say to the politicians that more money is needed in areas of low income and poverty. I desire for all children to learn how to learn and to not be swamped with the badgering of pass the test because that is what measures what you know. Education is not nor has it ever been quantitative. When we went there we went wrong. If we valued knowledge like we should then our children would value education as they should.

So I have a lot more children than just C.J. I will continue to pray that God allows me to have her in a healthy garden where the land is tilled and turned to keep it fresh. I will also pray that the concrete jungles that have been called playgrounds be dug up to unearth the healthy soil beneath that is home to so much knowledge waiting to be explored.

Pray with me people because we all know that prayer changes things.

C.J. Daddy wants you to know that he will do all he can to help you reach your goals and aspirations. Do me this one favor always value what you know and never settle for just enough. If you challenge yourself, ask questions and read like your mommy:), you will develop a passion for learning and that passion will turn into a burning desire that will keep you going and on top for a long time. Love you baby! Your daddy.

Aw, She is Cute

OK, OK, OK, OK,OK! I have heard it enough and now I am going to question it. How many people see a baby and then tell the parents that their baby is cute and really do not mean it? Now my mother always told me if I did not have anything nice to say then not to say anything at all. So when I see a baby and I know full well they are ugly I do not open my mouth.

Now I am not going to sit here and say that my princess is not cute. What I am going to say is that some folk just have those words fixed in their mouths and really have no care in the world about how C.J. looks. To those people I say, just learn to be quiet sometimes. In the doctor's office, in the mall, on Facebook everyone says, "Aw, she is so cute!" How about another word to describe her? Try that for a change.

The next thing I want to address is, why do people feel the need to share all of their baby experiences with us? How about C.J. is an individual and her baby experience does not need to reflect that of yours? Who says yours was right? What is your resume? How many kids do you have? The ones that get me the most are those who do not have a child in the world but have all the knowledge about them. How?

I am not saying that I will not listen but you have to have some war scars before I would even consider taking your theories and practices under consideration. Hint, just let me ask you when I feel like asking your thoughts before you volunteer. If I listened to everything I heard, oh my God, C.J. would have 3 eyes, no hair and would never talk.

So now I have given you my thoughts, if you can not use another word for cute do not say anything. If you really do not mean it, do not say anything. C.J.'s daddy knows she is cute and will tell her that all the time so save your rehearsed phrase for someone who needs it.

Now please take this in the fun that it was meant, readers. This all stems from a visit to the doctor's office where the receptionist said C.J. was cute and the way we had her wrapped up could not even tell that there was a baby with us. LOL! So as I go, remember to always pray because prayer changes things!

4 Months

C.J. is four months old today. The doctors visit was great, her development is great, God is Great who can ask for anything more. I will say that C.J.'s conduct is funny. She does not like being on the examination table. Every time she is laid down she begins to cry and cry loudly. Now one might say she does not like the doctor. That is false because she is all smiles and chatty while we discuss her progress. Others may say that she is phony. You may have a point because it does seem like she puts it on when she wants too. Now daddy say's she simply hates to lye on her back. Nothing more nothing less.

Doctor's visit are fun because the pediatrician we work with is dynamic. he even let us know today that pediatrics is the lowest money maker or doctors. (OK, that was off topic but worth sharing) I guess C.J. will begin to like the visits more when they don not include needles.

All is well with C.J. though. She has a big head as measured by the doctor today. The head needs to be big to protect all that brain she has up there. Four months, my how time flies. It seems like only yesterday we started out on this father/daughter journey. As we continue on our journey to sleep, you all remember one thing. Always remember to pray because prayer changes things.