Missing In Action

It is 11:42 on Wednesday night. I am holding C.J. as she is awake from one her cat naps. Since I had to work and then attend a huge church function, Daddy was MIA today. I hate these days because when I get home C.J. is asleep and Mommy is resting too, so I dont have anyone to talk to.

One thing that was not missing was a poop filled diaper when I came in. So even though she was asleep, she left that for me to culminate her day. I drove as fast as I could to get home before the new day began. One to make sure I got my blog done. The other reason is to make sure we had prayer as a family. With my career and aspirations, the reality is that I may be away from C.J on some nights. Nevertheless wherever I am, we will pray as a family to begin and end each day. So now off I go to tend to the poop. As always, remember to pray because prayer changes things...by the way C.J., Daddy had a good time at church tonight. I can not wait until you can hear your Daddy proclaim the Word of God!!!

Mixed Emotions

As the reality for Mommy sets in that next week she is back at work, and I too am dealing with a little problem. When I look back to how it felt to walk in the house everyday and greet my two ladies I can honestly say that I liked the whole situation a lot. It is a situation that I was getting used to and comfortable with. Knowing full well that it all has to come to an end and that the realization would not be pretty. Unfortunately at this present time I do not make enough money to allow for Mommy and C.J. to stay home together for as long as we desire. Therefore Mommy has to build up the courage and strength to go back to work. No matter how I look at it C.J. will be impacted.

Now some of you are already thinking negatively about the situation because I said she would be impacted but I have considered a few ways that she will be impacted that will help her grow into a well rounded little girl. First, she will get to be around other children. Being with the babysitter hired she will interact with two older children that at today's meeting seemed to be happy and very well learned. My hope is that C.J. begins to develop up to where they are. Not skipping meaningful milestones in her life but learning how to interact with all different age groups early in life will help her socially when she gets older.

Secondly, she will develop a respect and appreciation for different cultures. C.J. and I have listened to music from all over. Now she might hear other genres of music because her babysitter is from someplace else. She may hear different words and she may see customs not related to her culture. With this exposure she will be inquisitive to learn about different people and places around the world. Hopefully her Daddy will be able to take her to see not only sites of America but we will fly over the Atlantic too.

And thirdly, C.J. will learn how to cope with being away form her Mommy and especially me, her Daddy, for long periods of time. This will help her when the time comes for her to go away to college and it will prepare Daddy for that day when he must accept the fact that someone else loves his baby and is reluctantly given his approval to take her hand in wedded bliss.

Babysitters are cool, hey I had one and I turned out fine, and I have full confidence that C.J. will too. After all, she is a Johnson by birth. Even though I do wish I made the 7 digit numbers that could unscramble these mixed feelings, I don't. For now we both have to go into work to continue living as we want to live. Don't get me wrong we are blessed and highly favored and that is what gives me the peace to not worry. And simply because I am one of His I know he is in control. I am happy that we have a situation where Mommy is near and Daddy is always, no mater where I am, a call away. Plus I saw the picture of the last supper and the bibles in the house so I know C.J. is being cared for by a woman who knows Jesus Christ.

Welp, I must go now, there is rest to be had, but before I go, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Music To My Ears

I was once told that that the way a baby communicates is by crying. That was only half the truth. There are many sounds that a baby makes and I think C.J. is at the top of the chart having mastered them all. From the moment she wakes up until we put her down at night you will hear many things uttered from my little C.J.

Lets look at when she wakes up in the morning. You don't hear crying you hear stretching and yawning and the covers rustling. This is all before she opens her eyes. She has a 5 minute ritual which gives us time to prepare a bottle for her by the time she opens her eyes. Now I find this fascinating because she will stretch her arms out and show her wingspan like she was an eagle, and I might add, that it is huge.

Now I was told that there would be a cry for when she was wet, not C.J. When she is wet you hear her pamper rubbing together because she won't stop moving her little legs. I think that is how the poop spreads all over the place.

Now when she is hungry the sound of smacking is heard from a room away. When you hear the smacking you know that she is beyond hungry and you have already missed the previous signs to tell that she is hungry. Once you give her the bottle you hear the milk as it travels down her digestive tract very loudly.

Now Daddy's favorite sound is that of the burp. Now this is partly because I am disgusting and feel the need to challenge her when she burps after a feeding. C.J. seems like she finds the burp deep down in her soul and aids it by getting really silent, then letting out a burp that resonates for miles.

Now tonight there were some fun sounds. Some laughs that showed happiness. She let out a loud shriek and smiled. She seemed as if she wanted to talk to me, so I held her up to me and showed her I was listening.

There is one sound that I could do without. Or I have to train her on the potty quickly. It is the grunt. This sound means that in just minutes a smell will be produced and you might want to get your goggles, gloves and face mask. All of which I have because my Grandmother made me this apron to use for just such an occasion. When you hear that sound you better be prepared and not dressed in anything you like.

Now the most popular sound amongst parents is that of the cry. C.J. does cry, when she cries we know she is A. being a spoiled brat, (thanks to Dad) or something is wrong. As I told you she makes other sounds for everything else. Her cry is loud. I wish I had earmuffs to shield me from it. I have to tell you though nothing sounds better than the sigh of satisfaction when I have her in my arms after she has exercised her lungs. That sigh relays to me that she is content, satisfied and safe. It is that sigh that makes me feel happy and proud to be a Daddy, especially C.J.'s Daddy.

Well for now that is all. Time for me to go listen to sounds, maybe she will snore a little so we know she is asleep. Until later good people, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Just Another Day

So who said every day would be exciting and fun-filled? Well of course C.J. does something cute everyday. Whether it be a smile, a movement, fake sleeping or acting as if she is relaxing in a hammock during bath time. I will say that she does something new daily. Now I will admit I want exciting. I want news worthy excitement on an everyday basis. If you know me I am full of action, energy and I am restless. If I could I would bounce from wall to wall in a house just because I could. Then you could imagine that I was the one at birth who wanted to take C.J. out to shoot hoops. That is half the reason I bought her a basketball within 24 hours of her coming into the world. It is the reason we listen to loud music. It is the reason why I always have her on the activity mats or in her rockers or in her play yard with the musical sound going. I wanted her to be running and walking instantly and no one could tell me otherwise.

What I am learning is that life is a process and it takes time to get up and running (no pun intended). C.J. needs time for all her limbs to connect and her bones to get strong. She needs time to develop all the reflexes needed to respond properly to the world around her. She needs time to develop her lungs so she can speak with clarity and communicate with smiles, since the frowns she already has down-packed. You really have to see her poke her little lip out, it is too cute! I have learned that I must be patient and let her come into her own. Now that doesn't mean that I do not still give her my finger to grab to work on her grip. She is pretty good with that too.

In all today was simply another day, but life long lessons always occur. We prayed as a family, C.J. was read to. She watched the Miami vs. San Diego game and then she took it down with Mommy. I think today will be the beginning of something new. We need to end the day as we started it and that is in prayer. So I must leave you now to start another component of the Johnson's of Old Bridge daily routine. As always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Just Wait Till My Daddy Comes Home

Instead of spending a nice quiet day at home with C.J. today, I had to get up like normal and go to work. It comes with the territory, but since C.J. is around, Saturdays are the only day I get to spend with her from sunup to sundown. While at work I called home twice just to see what was going on and was told that she was asleep and the constant inquiries about her all day do not help with my anxiety. So I continually whip out her picture whenever anyone asks, partly to show off, but more importantly, for me to get to see at least an image of my little twin.

So after stopping to do some solo food shopping and picking up some water for C.J. I arrived home. I had to bring in all the groceries, all my dry cleaning and all the other bags I accumulated from the morning until then. Now when I got everything put away C.J. was fussing a bit. She had just awakened because I guess she heard her Daddy! I got comfortable and then I grabbed her up. She almost instantly got quiet as she laid in my arms. I know she was happy to see me along with the sound of football coming from the television. C.J. may be a girl but she will sit quiet when football is being played and the smile upon her face tells me she enjoys it.

So as we sit as a family, and C.J. and I watch our favorite team, Notre Dame, play I really am glad that C.J. slept all day, so she could get up when her Daddy got home. Pretty soon when she hears the door crack she will run to me and utter the word that will make me go crazy "Daddy!". All will be in order in her mind when her Daddy gets home! Well that is all for today...the game is about to come back on. So, as always, remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Bath Time!!!

So it is Friday night at 8:51pm and C.J. and I are home alone relaxing. She is eating and I am holding the bottle for her. In the background, you guessed it, Football! Nevada vs. Missouri, we think Mizzou will win.

Anyway, Mommy took some much needed me time tonight and she better come home bearing gifts for all. Anyway that left Daddy to have his first attempt at bath time. Since Mommy created a system for this I usually write during that given time, however, I had to come off the bench and step up tonight. I will say I did rather well. No soap in her eyes. I did not drop her and she did not cry too much. I was paranoid at whether the water was too hot or too cold but when I put her in she was relaxed.

I washed her face, changed washcloths, then her body. Last was the hair with the washcloth I used for her face. No booty-face washcloth for her. I'm on top of things just so you all know.

In trying to keep with Shatema's system I read to C.J. tonight as well. I chose a different type of text and read to her Martin Luther King Jr's sermon/speech "Where Do We Go From Here?" As I read this almost 40 year old text, it was sad to come to the conclusion that my daughter was born into a similar world mentioned. I know the words are complicated and the tone is a bit grim but I hope that all of this is seeping into her inner most being and beginning to shape and mold her into the powerful black woman she will be. I have added an excerpt for you to ponder. "The Negro will only be free when he reaches down to the inner depths of his own being and signs with the pen and ink of assertive manhood his own Emancipation Proclamation. And, with a spirit straining toward true self-esteem, the Negro must boldly throw off the manacles of self-abnegation and say to himself and to the world, "I am somebody. I am a person. I am a man with dignity and honor. I have a rich and noble history. How painful and exploited that history has been. Yes, I was a slave through my foreparents and I am not ashamed of that. I'm ashamed of the people who were so sinful to make me a slave." Yes, we must stand up and say, "I'm black and I'm beautiful," and this self-affirmation is the black man's need, made compelling by the white man's crimes against him."

C.J., Daddy wants you to stand up for what is right. He wants you to not be ashamed of who you are and where you come from. He wants you to be bold. He wants you to be a leader and not compromise your beliefs. He wants you to be YOU!" I say this because as I realized earlier we are still in search of where to go and I want C.J. to be a part of the calvary headed upward and onward.

So it is, another night comes to an end. The bond between father and daughter grows stronger and all is good in the Johnson household. As always remember to pray because prayer changes things.

Must be the Music

C.J. and I have had an evening alone. Earlier today I came home and sat her on my lap and decided to listen to some music. Many people don't know it but I love all kinds of music. Music helps calm me, yes even when it's loud rock music. Music does something to me and I can escape whatever negative energy I've had to deal with throughout the day.

Now for C.J. it's all about exposure. I want her to hear many genres of music so she can relate and learn about people. Her Daddy believes that you can tell a lot about people by the music they listen to and how they respond to different kinds of music. So yes people, C.J., like her dad, will be analytical. Today we listened to Blink 182 and C.J. liked it. I swear I saw her nod her head in rhythm and no one will be able to persuade me otherwise. All the Small Things was the song of choice. We also listened to some Black Eyed Peas.

Now C.J. and I are doing what we do best watching football, South Carolina vs. Ole Miss. Well I am watching and C.J. is sound asleep but she is listening. She will know her football positions and calls.

I spoke with a friend, and we related to how we both miss the heck out of our baby girl when we are not with them. I, for one, can not stand it. I want to take her everywhere with me. To the mall, to a game, to the store, to work even, as long as she leaves the stinky diapers at home.

Well another night ends and I must go. Soon enough C.J. and I will be dancing again. Until then, remember to pray because prayer changes things.