From The Home Front

For the first time in a long time I am typing on my own computer. My summer program ended yesterday and today I had the day off. I spent it in what I am finding to be the best way possible. For most of the day I did absolutely nothing. Then later on in the evening it was off to handle some important business. With just about a week left until CJ's first birthday there are a lot that has to be done in a little bit of time. Daddy and Mommy go back and forth about the final details on a daily basis. All the while CJ sits idle, and as Daddy reminded Mommy today, will not remember any of this.

I just laid CJ down for the night. She finally fell asleep after resting in my arms for most of the night after dinner. Mommy wanted to take her and put her down many times but Daddy insisted on letting her chill with her Daddy since she was quiet and still. I must confess, I was not letting her go. I have been waiting for this night for a month now. Tonight it came and I soaked it all up. CJ has a way of making sure I am real. She will grab my face, then my head. Then, she kisses my head and grabs my beard and moves in for a kiss. I guess I am authenticated once she finishes her ritual. Mommy laughed today and said, "You just sit there too"...lol. I do because anything she does right about now I will let her do.

Daddy finally solidified what CJ would receive for her first birthday present from him. (I have to guess is this a dual gift from her parents with Mommy, or is she getting her something else? I mean it is OK if she wants to roll with Big Poppa!) We were in a store and we came across a horse. I showed it to CJ and she was not scared. She even graced the horse's head and smiled. The head moves and it gallops and she was all giddy. Therefore the Rocking Horse became the gift she would get. Now I will admit this is a far ways from the very high end jewelry I initially thought of getting her but it allows me room to make the gifts better and better with time. I have some wiggle room. Those earrings I wanted to get would have made me get another job by the time her 5th birthday came around.

So CJ is asleep, and Daddy is finishing up his blog and then will chill out with Mommy. We have a long weekend of events to attend and we do not get a break until we are resting peacefully in Vegas in two weeks. So now, I remind you to pray. Trust me my prayer list is growing and I do not mind because prayer changes things, people, and situations. You all take care.

Finally

"It's been a long time, I shouldnah have left you with out a dope beat to step to." As I sit in the office at 12:27am, those words sprinkled into my mind. I always plan to write but never get around to it after a long day on two jobs. Those words were said by Timbaland on an Aaliyah track. Anyway, this business of coming home for a day and then being away from my Princess for a week is coming to an end. After a summer of chaperoning other peoples children and having to get text and voice-mail pictures about mine, Daddy is coming home. So it will be back to blogging daily and that is the way I like it. I think the time away stunted some of CJ's progress too. She did not want to do anything new and her Daddy miss it. I do not blame her either. At night I yearned to hear her voice or just watch her sleeping as I do sometimes but I could only look at the pictures I have stored in my phone to remind me of her. I did not think this would be so hard but it has been painful and almost impossible to cope with.


So now I get to go home and be with my Baby (that is Mommy for those who can not keep up) and my Princess. This week we will have the honor of implementing the plan for CJ's 1st birthday barbecue. I have said from day one that all of her parties can be BBQ's since she wanted to come into the world during a summer month. I still do not know what I am going to get her as a present but I have decided to scale down from my original thought. I do not want to give her to much while she is young, then when she is older have run out of ideas. Also I do not want her to think money grows on trees and that he gets showered with presents just because. Work ethic, sacrifice and earn will all be words CJ will be familiar with.

So now that I am thoroughly tired and need to get some sleep I will leave you with these parting words. Always remember to pray. Prayer changes things, people, and situations.

NOTE TO CJ: Daddy is coming home!

Bathe Yourself CJ

Well today started off in a weird way. I was scheduled to visit the University of Delaware. The alarm was set for 5:45am, CJ's bag was packed and we were all set to go. At 7:00am this morning the doorbell rang. It was my mother and brother who I was supposed to be waiting for, with CJ, all set to go. I overslept! I guess I hung out too late last night...boy am I getting old! With that said, yesterday was a very filled day. CJ went to the babysitter. Mommy and Daddy needed to go handle some business, Mommy needed her hair done, and Daddy had a meeting to attend. How I wish I had last weekend back, but we kept it moving. CJ had a great day at the sitter. When Mommy called you could hear her in the background. I guess she was keeping the folks entertained. It has been a month since she saw them last and she has changed so much. She is trying to communicate, she is standing and her teeth are coming in rapidly. She is really growing and Daddy is trying to keep up.

So as you read earlier, Daddy overslept so CJ did not make the trip. Daddy wanted to give Mommy a break and he screwed that up. Come on Daddy, get things right! After Daddy was halfway through the tour he texted Mommy to tell her that maybe it was best that CJ did not make the trip. It was very hot out and she would have been miserable in all that heat. She might have enjoyed the ice cream we received at the end of the day, though. Once home Daddy wanted to show CJ how to clean up after herself, but he failed. He ended up cleaning and CJ continued to play with what she wanted.

Today Daddy bathed the Diva. Now, Mommy has warned me that bath time has become very interesting. I went into it with optimism but ended with a wet shirt and needing to sit down. CJ now is all over the place. She splashes, she gets up, she flops, and she tries to get out of both tubs. I had to tell her several times to sit down, get back in the tub, let me finish. It was a battle in there and I would say that we had a draw. Daddy will come back with another game plan for the next time he and CJ enter the ring. Or CJ could do the honors of bathing herself. I am serious people, and after that she can continue to put her diaper on, grease her skin and then fix her drink. I know my thoughts are way out the box but if she wants to get all excited during bath time instead of letting Daddy do what he needs to do then independence will be hers.

So now CJ is fighting her sleep. Instead of letting her Mommy enjoy this great cobbler Daddy baked this evening. So now the stage is set for the next bath fight between Daddy and CJ. Who will win? Cast your vote people, I will let you know next Friday night who wins. You keep praying folks, prayer is STILL changing things, people, and situations.

Stand!

So it is 10:37am and I just got off the phone with CJ. She finally responded when I said something on the phone. Now grant it she said the same word she always says to me, Da, but that word sends shivers down my spine every time she lets it out. So today I get to go home and be with my leading ladies. My Baby (Mommy) and My Princess, (CJ)! This phone business is getting old real fast and I can't deal with it much longer. I do what I have to do and cope the best I can. So my plan is to try to leave earlier than I usually do so I can get some play time in with CJ.

Mommy told me that she is standing up with more confidence now. When she asks her to take a step she lunges so the walking things is still on its way. When I get home I probably will play with her and even give her a bath, why not it is Thursday right? I do not see a problem with that.

So this weekend will not be like the last. their will not be a trip to the zoo, no sleeping in on Saturday but we might get to sneak in a brunch date on Sunday after Worship service. I am also going to get some reading time in with CJ. Read her a story so she knows that Daddy can read too! So people continue to pray, CJ and I do it all the time and we both agree that it changes things, people, and situations.

NOTE TO CJ: You are beginning to gain more confidence with standing. Malcolm X said, "A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything." Begin to develop the things you stand for so you do not fall for the nonsense that will come your way in life. I will let you read my building on the Rock sermon, I think you will have it down packed after that!

Reminisce

I am back! OK folks Mommy did it, she put me in a reflective mode when she text to inform me that she was telling CJ about how she should not fall for the tricks that her Daddy use to play. I responded to her and told her to make sure that CJ took in the lesson. I support Mommy's effort because if she begins to instill these golden nuggets in her now she will have them to refer to when she needs them. Once Mommy drew my attention back to my college antics I decided to listen to music from 112 all night. (Love You Like I Did, Sweet Love, Nowhere, Crazy Over You, All My Love and my All time favorite, the one Mommy told CJ I used to woo girls, Cupid)

So now to CJ, today she did not want Mommy to get a word in edge wise. Mommy and I were talking business and CJ decided that she was going to interrupt Mommy every chance she got. Eventually I decided to speak to CJ, I would say, "Hello CJ" she said nothing. When I began to speak to Mommy again she decided to open her mouth. I asked Mommy to relay a message. The message was to CJ, "Daddy is going to kick your butt for making all that noise while he was speaking to Mommy!" So I have to remember to have a talking to with her when I get home Thursday night. She will probably get off because as soon as I see her face after not seeing her but only hearing her for a week I will soften up like Fluff instantly.

So after listening to 112 and already arranging the Playlist for when I go upstairs and tomorrow. I began to think about how I have changed. College changed me, marriage changed me, and now being a father has continued to help me change into the man i am suppose to be. As I listened to these sings they highlight a chapter of my life which helped to lay a foundation. Now I never want CJ to be listening to the songs the same way I did, lol! For real though, I am glad that I went through what Mommy explained to CJ tonight, it has equipped me to be able to deal with what she will go through one day. I will no how to help when she might need advice on how to deal with guys or when she ,(I can not believe I am saying this) says she is in love. Just being able to recall this chapter will enable me to help her the best I can. I still may remind her of my friends Smith and Wesson who can be called upon at all times but I will help her to develop a love of herself that she will be able to stand strong through anything.

As I always tell people I take full advantage of the relationship we have now where she loves the hell out of me because I know her little emotions will get the best of her one day and she will lean on Mommy a bit more. However CJ will know that Daddy is always there in her corner, in front of her and in back of her and will never throw in the towel! So continue to pray for our development as Father and Daughter. we are growing and through prayer we know we will get it straight. prayer changes things, people and situations!

Trip To The Zoo/Lazy Saturday

OK, so I am going to combine the last two days into one post. Yesterday was full but Daddy did not get in until late do he did not have the opportunity to blog. So yesterday we went to Turtle Back Zoo. I will begin by saying that, that may have not been the best choice of family trip for the day. We went early to beat the heat but when the temperature is going to hit ninety plus their is no such thing as beating the heat. So I applied the sun screen, dressed CJ cool, had water and Gatorade to keep us hydrated and away we went. The first stop were the penguins, then the prairie dogs, we saw llama's, sheep, a bear, gibbon's a horse (it pooped a lot)and many other animals. We took Brooks(CJ's cousin)since he stayed the night after hanging with his Uncle the entire week while attending basketball camp.

The day was all I wished for and more. We took a lot of pics to remember the trip and Daddy took one with his Princess and she smiled ear to ear. Next stop is the aquarium or a museum I still have to decide. CJ looked when she wanted too, I wish she could tell me what she lied the best. She did stare a lot at the gibbons who swung around there maze of ladders. We will go to a bigger zoo when she gets a little older. Brooks has already prepared me to be sure I visit the Gift Shop too.

Now today was a planned lazy day. I planned to prepare brunch, check! Go get Mommy and CJ food for the week, check! Other than that the agenda was to lay around the house and do nothing. When we finally left the house around six o'clock I whispered to Mommy that I really enjoyed spending a day in the house lounging and have to do that more often.

Today was the first Daddy Bath Night in a long time. I asked CJ to take it easy on me and cooperate to make thinks quick. I was glad when she made my request a reality. I bathed her, greased her up then held her as I tried, unsuccessfully to put her down for the night. It was something I wanted to do because I miss doing so throughout the week. Only two more weeks in absentia to go and then I will be home nightly. I can not wait for the 29th of July to get here.

So after a great, fun-filled weekend it is back to business starting tomorrow with 8am Worship and then 10am Worship as well, then it is back down to Trenton to deal with other people's children. They are growing but not like I want them too. Nonetheless, they provide me with the lesson I need to begin to develop for Ms. CJ Johnson and her maturation. Nothing crazy folks but some of these students really could have you a sound foundation and some discipline and order in their lives.

So until I get a chance to get back to the blog, you all take care. I promise to try and post every day this week. Even if it has to be during the day. You all pray for CJ and her Daddy as they are absent from one another. We all know prayer changes things, people, and situations so we know God has a plan for Daddy's career!

NOTE TO CJ: I want you to know that Daddy misses you very much while he is away at work. The one thing that lights up my day is when I come home on Thursday nights and you kiss my head (I do not know why she chooses to do so but I will not complain) and smile and reach out to me! It makes Daddy feel all good and mushy on the inside.

CJ - The Lawnmower

Well it is actually Thursday morning but for Daddy as I explained to Mommy earlier it is the night time for me. The first opportunity to really sit down and take a break. I was able to speak with Mommy twice today. Once for business and the other time was for pleasure. I like the pleasure talks because they provide me with the information about CJ that I want to here.

I am sitting here counting the hours away until I get to be with my Princess. I really, really miss her. Mommy told me today that she is beginning to stand up on her own unassisted by the couch or anything else around her. In my case, Daddy's body. She also told me that we will have to spend money this weekend. Now I have been envisioning the weekend a little differently. Friday we would go to the zoo, Saturday we would lounge at home and get Rita's for dinner, and Sunday go to Worship and come home to relax some more. Now things have changed because as Mommy put it, CJ is now pushing her walker. Honestly it is a good thing, this means she will begin make those first steps soon. So Daddy will allow some time for us to go out to get CJ what she needs to be the lawnmower of the household.

So now I have to force myself to go to sleep. Tomorrow is always hectic with the two jobs. I have a group presentation tomorrow and I have to make sure that all 85 of my summer program students are off towards home before 4:30 preferably. Them I get to make the drive up Route 1 to my leading ladies, Mommy and CJ! This was a long week for some reason I hope the next two go a lot more quickly.

So pray I have the stamina I need to get it all done later today. We know that prayer changes things, people, and situations!

NOTE TO CJ: Always remember that no matter where I am Daddy is always out to make your future a bright one! In life you will have to make decisions that others may feel are not the best. As long as you believe in what you are deciding to do is all that matters!

The Weekend At Home

If you notice I have not been writing everyday. That is because I am in one part of the state and CJ is in another. I get to here her voice about twice a day but that is all the interaction we have together. It really is taking a toll on Daddy so when he is home on the weekend he wants to spend every waking and sleeping moment with his Princess. I talk to Mommy everyday and she gives me detailed updates of what CJ is doing. It still does not feel right not being there, but a man has to do what a man has to do to provide for his family.

This weekend was another busy one for us. Yesterday was the Family and Friends Day Festival at the church. We had an awesome time. Great fellowship, great praise, great worship, and a great word! CJ went and she was well behaved, which is always a good thing. yesterday when I went in the middle aisle as we opened the doors of the church CJ saw me and called out Da Da. I smiled because I thought it was cute. She is very attentive in church too. Mommy and I spoke about how children need to be introduced to the word young. We both do not believe in her bringing toys to church and not hearing the word. It is the word that will one day change her life. Not the fact that she goes to church or that her Daddy is a preacher. She must accept the Lord as her personal Lord and Savior. Daddy wants the word to simmer until the day she is ready to give her life to Christ.

So CJ has begun to say the word uh oh for everything, she drops something, uh oh! She moves to a location she should not, uh oh! She just feels like saying it, uh oh! It is so cute too. I find CJ to be so funny at times and wonder when she will wear her uh oh welcome out? I had to get back to work early on Sunday so I could not spend to much time with her but next weekend its all us. Daddy and Princess CJ! Keep praying folks, change will occur to things, people, and situations!

CJ and Mommy - The E-Mail

As you all know by now, I am away at work and CJ and Mommy are home together. Now Daddy wishes that this arrangement was the other way around but it is what it is and we have to live with it. Most of the updates about CJ come by way of Mommy through conversations on the phone or by AIM. Today was a little different. (Yes it is 12:20AM and I am on here typing about my Princess)

Today as I returned back from lunch I decided to check my emails to see what had changed from the half hour before.(I only get a half hour lunch because we are working this summer extended schedule and I do not like it one bit)So on my work email, not my personal one I have a message from Mommy. It the message she explains to me that CJ is having some serious separation anxiety. She informed me that CJ catches tantrums and cries when Mommy is not in her line of vision. She does not even want to play on the floor. She wants her Mommy and will stop at nothing to have her. Now I sensed the frustration that was accompanied by the email and I decided to call to gauge what the situation was.

Talking to Mommy I understood better the situation. Mommy mentioned sending her to the sitter on Friday's which I totally agree with, just not this Friday because we are going to the zoo. I agree wholeheartedly that CJ has to learn how to operate and function without her parents. Even though it is extremely hard for me to be away from her I know she needs to go through this. So of course I researched the topic a little bit and saw that this is a part of development for babies right at this age and it seems CJ is a textbook case. The great thing is that Mommy is on top of the game with all the coping mechanisms. (Honestly people, what would I do without Mommy)

Not being with my Princess during the week really takes a toll on me. I try to occupy myself so I do not have her on my mind but since August 7, 2009 C.J. Johnson is a part of my mind. Hearing what I read today makes me want to be with her even more now. I know it will not help at all but it will ease Daddy, and that counts for something.

So the email stalled my day a bit. I honestly wanted to drive home, relieve Mommy and see my princess. I did not though because the goodbye for Daddy would have been painful on my end. I also did not get a chance to speak to her today but will make it my business to hear her voice and for her to hear mine. In the meantime folks keep praying. I assure you it changes things, people, and situations.

Minimal Contact

Today was not a good day in terms of contact between Daddy and CJ. On most days now that I am away, I usually get the opportunity to whisper a few words to her on the phone. Today the chance never offered itself. I talked to Mommy, even emailed her. For some reason CJ was not around. So I have to sit here and think about the last words from her mouth. They were, "uh oh!" I can here her voice now echoing what has become her favorite phrase to say.

You know, sometimes I daydream and wonder if it is all worth it. The month of July changes the tone of the Johnson's of Old Bridge. We all have our way of doing coping but is the separation healthy. I notice that when I come in their is a warming up period for the Princess that I wish was not there. However her world is changed weekly and one has to gain full admittance at her leisure.

I pray she is sleeping soundly and I look forward to our day at the zoo this Friday. Continue to pray for us. We know that prayer changes things, people and situations.

NOTE TO CJ: Sometimes in life you have to ask yourself this question about all you do. You must ask yourself daily, "Is it worth it?"

What A Weekend

Ok, I have a lot to catch you up on. I know I have been slacking but I did not take my laptop with me on the mini family get away. I should have because I could have kept you up to date with what was going on. So I have now been to Atlanta and I will admit that it is not at all what I thought it would be. I enjoyed the time with my family but what I saw of the city was less than impressive.

That is not what i want to share though. I want to let you know about how CJ handled her first road trip. Mommy did not like it one bit. This was her first ride of this magnitude and its funny that i did not remember that she gets car sick until now and the trip is over. CJ was a little fussy about having to ride in the car seat but periodically she was taken out to get a breather or worse, to be changed. Their was one time where I wanted to kick her out of the van because she smelled so bad. As I drove I would hear CJ keeping the riders entertained by her whistling and laughing. I do not know what else she was doing back there but she was having herself a grand old time.

The highlight of the trip for me was taking JC in the pool for the first time. I myself really am not a fan of the water. I will get in and chill out for a few but you will not hear me initiating a trip to the beach. Anyway, CJ put her little (Daddy approved) bathing suit and of course she hand a terry cloth jacket to go over it. We went down to the pool and at first she wanted to have nothing to do with it. She clawed at me to get her out of the water. Her aunt then took her and i guess soothed her enough to feel OK in the water. Once I got her back she was ready to go. I would lay her on the water and in CJ fashion like she was in the tub she began to splash. She then exercised her baby instinct to swim and be can to kick her legs and mover her arms. She smiled and giggled as I navigated her all around the pool she even went to the deep end as well. Daddy enjoyed himself, CJ enjoyed herself and the two of us shared a memory that will last a lifetime. of course I will have to show her the pictures to let her know how it all went down.

Another highlight was that CJ showed again that she is 100% my daughter. We went to the Golden Coral (You know when you are south at least one meal must be there) and Daddy put some grits on his plate. I have to tell you folks that I had to go get seconds because my princess devoured my grits. She clearly enjoyed them and she feasted on her pancake too.